Talking with Big Gay Ed!

Daniel Cartier (00:20)
Welcome to There is No God and We're All Gonna Die. I'm your host, Daniel Cartier. And this is a special episode. I actually have my first guest interview. I've been wanting to bring people on and I just haven't gotten it together because I needed to learn how to use all this software. my friend, Big Gay Ed, agreed to come on and he was actually, a little bit of trivia about this podcast, he was actually the

first caller to ever call in. The first, very first voicemail I ever got and answered was a big gay ed voicemail.

So anyways, we are going to talk with Big Gay Ed today. We're going to talk about all sorts of things. I've already filmed the podcast with him earlier, so I'm going to cut to that. But before I do that, very quickly, please call the podcast and leave a voice message. I want to hear from you. I don't care if you're a MAGA person. I don't care if you're liberal, conservative, gay, straight, black, white.

cisgender, transgender, non-binary, I invite everybody. really, I just need people to call because if people don't call and leave voice messages, then it's just gonna be me talking for like an hour and I'd rather hear other voices because it's not just all about me. It's about all of us because we're all coexisting together and the whole point of this podcast is for me as a gay liberal atheist

living in the Bible Belt to learn how to

Just navigate all this. Navigate all this hate that we have in our culture for each other. We are really addicted to hating each other, I think, and it's sad because humans are a beautiful but then we throw it all away over these differences that we have. ⁓ And some of the differences are very important.

But we need to learn how to live with each other because we're stuck with each Nobody's going anywhere. Nobody can move back somewhere. We all live on planet Earth. And so I want to hear from you. ⁓ All you need to do is go to my website, danielcartier.com. I'll say that again. Daniel, like Daniel and the Lions den. Cartier, like the fancy jeweler.com.

And then right in the menu, it says podcast and you click on that. And then there's a little button that says call the show and you just click on that button and then you can. Just let me know what's on your mind. I think you have like 90 seconds to state your case. And ⁓ yeah, so I want to hear from you. All right. anyways, check that out.

Leave me a voice message for next week and I am gonna cut to my interview with big gay Ed. Roll the tape. I've always wanted to say that.

Daniel Cartier (03:29)
Hey everybody, I'm here with my wonderful friend Ed and he is just one of my favorite people in the world. Can I call you big gay Ed?

Big Gay Ed (03:38)
Yes, please do.

Daniel Cartier (03:39)
Yes, please copy. So for those of you who've been watching the podcast, Big Gay Ed has actually called into the show a couple of times. You are actually my first caller ever. ⁓ You were the first voicemail that I ever answered because I've actually and I'm going to talk about that in a second. There's actually a reason why I brought that up. But let me ask you something. First of all, how do you we were having ⁓ an executive summit about you, me and my partner, Corey. ⁓ And so

There's one thing we really want to know. really, really want to know. Sweetie, how the fuck do you say your last name? Like, we are, like, Bo... What is up with your last name? I'm always like, Ed Boakchak shirt.

Big Gay Ed (04:19)
you

No, not even close. It's, it's BOW HOT.

Daniel Cartier (04:28)
Nice.

Bo-Hatch, Bo-Hatch, it's really not... Bo-Hatch, Bo-Hatch, Bo-Hatch. Well I was talking, I was talking to Ed Bo-Hatch down at the Piggly Wiggly and you know him with his big Ed t-shirt on, walking around being all flamboyant in front of the children.

Big Gay Ed (04:34)
Yeah, most people say Bo Hatch because there's an A in it. Bo Hatch or Bo, I've been called everything.

Yeah

I how to pronounce

my first name when I lived in Memphis for a while and I realized that no one knows who Ed is because that's spelled A-D. They wanted to know who Ed was. Ed. What is your name? My name is Ed.

Daniel Cartier (05:10)
And, and...

Ed Bohatch. Well, I'm talking about Ed Bohatch. his heart, he's such a slut. I just think he's the cutest thing since slice of bread, but he isn't very smart. That's how people would talk about people down here. It's like, I love that they say bless his heart or bless her heart before they say literally the worst things about them. It's like, well,

Big Gay Ed (05:16)
Yeah, there you go.

Bless your heart.

Daniel Cartier (05:40)
That daughter of hers, bless her heart, she is such a slut.

Big Gay Ed (05:46)
or they call you sweetie or darling or honey.

Yeah, I know all the insults.

Daniel Cartier (05:52)
Yeah, I think it's like the northern equivalent of that is, well, isn't that something? You know, like people will say, well, isn't, well, aren't you something? Yeah, well, well, aren't you something? It's like, uh-huh. I'm like, yeah, bitch, I am. Well, sweetie, it is really wonderful to have you here, big gay Ed. Ed Bohotch. Hotch. Bohotch.

Big Gay Ed (05:59)
Or what the fuck's wrong with you?

Uh-huh.

Hot, both hot.

Daniel Cartier (06:19)
Bo-Hotch. Now I'm saying it like I'm

like, on Jolly Good Britain. It's like my friend Ian calling in from London now. It's like, I've never, I've always had a hard time pronouncing things. Like I was one of those kids who, you know, like I always call it the future fags of America club. Like the kids who have to go to speech class in first and grade because it's like, okay. David Sedaris actually has a essay about that,

cause he like had a problem with his S's. It's like, okay, this is how we find out who's going to be an interior decorator later on. the kids who can't pronounce, the kids who talk like Hermi the dentist, you know? But yeah.

Big Gay Ed (07:03)
Well, I also

have a hard time pronouncing names. I was calling you Daniel Carter for the longest time, and then I realized there was an I in there.

Daniel Cartier (07:09)
That is

friggin' unforgivable. No, it's not, it's not. It's fancy, it is fancy, yeah, it is fancier. Or a lot of people say Cartier, Daniel Cartier. Daniel, Daniel Cartier. Yeah, it's like, and at Carter,

Big Gay Ed (07:13)
It's fancier, like you said in your last podcast, it's fancier like Cartier, like the jeweler.

I can see that down in Tennessee.

no.

Daniel Cartier (07:30)
Anyways, there I business done. Hey, or as Gwyneth Paltrow said, I can't believe I'm using a Gwyneth Paltrow.

Big Gay Ed (07:31)
There you go.

If you got it, flaunt it and make a buck doing it.

Daniel Cartier (07:40)
I'm already starting off on a sad note. As Gwyneth Paltrow said, no, she in that movie Country Strong, which was not a great movie, but like her character like played a country music star and she had this song that said, if you got it, flaunt it, make the cowboys want it. Yeah. Hey, all right. I'll go and.

Big Gay Ed (08:03)
yeah, I like that.

Daniel Cartier (08:09)
Hey, I live down here. I'll go out to some cow pasture and start shaking around. See what I can get. See if I have any luck. Woo! All right, well, this is... We haven't even started talking about anything serious. Like, people have no idea who you are. They're just... It's just like... It's just like...

Big Gay Ed (08:22)
⁓ no.

You haven't? I thought this was pretty serious.

Daniel Cartier (08:36)
freaking Queenie guys just like not really making any sense right now anyways that's fine you know people don't have to listen to it if people don't hey you want to know what let's make a pact right now if people don't like our conversation they can go fuck themselves let's just say that if we this is Daniel and Ed if you do not like our conversation right now and if you find it trite and yeah go fuck yourself we are enjoying ourselves and in this

Big Gay Ed (08:43)
It makes sense to us. That's all that matters.

Go fuck yourself.

Daniel Cartier (09:05)
Day and age, honey, I'm gonna take enjoyment wherever the fuck I can get it because we have a fucking clown in the White House. We have fucking clowns licking his butthole, crawling around on all fours, acting like he's fucking God and he's fucking deranged. Like, swear to God, he's deranged. Donald Trump is deranged. Anyways, we'll talk about him in a second. First, Ed. Ed.

Big Gay Ed (09:07)
Right.

Daniel Cartier (09:35)
Bo-hosh. Bo-hashay. I wanna call you Ed Bo-hashay.

Big Gay Ed (09:39)
⁓

shit, that's, you're allowed, you're allowed. You can call me anything, you can call me anything but Eddie.

Daniel Cartier (09:42)
Ed Bohasse like Tarjay.

but Eddie. Eddie Bohatch! Hey Lil Eddie Bohatch! That's your rap name. That's your rapping. Lil Eddie Bohatch. No, okay. Ed Bohage. Ed Bohage. I need to ask you some serious interview questions now. Okay, so tell me...

Big Gay Ed (09:49)
Yeah.

I knew I shouldn't have said anything. Lil, any go ahead.

Okay, I'm serious.

Daniel Cartier (10:17)
Tell me, just give the people listening ⁓ just a wrap up of who you are.

Big Gay Ed (10:24)
my gosh. Well, I am Big Gay Ed. I live just outside of Detroit in a small town and I grew up in West Michigan on Lake Michigan and there's nothing over there. It's a shit hole in the Midwest. ⁓ And I've been over here for about 21 years now with my husband Sam and we have had many fur babies that we have loved and lost over the years and we currently have our one and only fur child Mona. ⁓ I've been

Clean and sober for 29 years, 11 months, and some odd days. I'll have 30 years, if I make it, on the 20th of November. ⁓ It took me 51 years to find a job that I could actually make money doing service work for other people and ⁓ helping people stay healthier, and I love it. And I'm gonna retire in April of next year, so I'm looking forward to that. What else? ⁓

A self-proclaimed man whore who is monogamous with his husband but just has his portrayal online that I'm the biggest pig in the universe, which I love because I also like the heart emojis. I thrive on them.

Daniel Cartier (11:34)
Mm-hmm You

do like sharing you do like sharing a lot of photos on your Facebook page of Shall we say very? Scantily clad yeah scantily clad trade Scan scantily clad porn porno guys. Let's just call it like it is

Big Gay Ed (11:45)
He actually clad gentlemen. Well, gentlemen were fresh.

Not only could I

not figure out what shirt to wear today, I couldn't figure out what coffee cup to have. So I have this one, and then I have this one.

Daniel Cartier (12:06)
So you have gay as fuck. I can't read the other one because I'm not wearing my, what's the other one say? Man-whore. So, but.

Big Gay Ed (12:10)
Man-whore.

And then I also have

on my desk my Slut Buck punch card from, I'm going to have a punch here for a thing for CJ Hammerhard in Ferndale, Michigan, an awesome store. Love them. If you're in the area, please shop there. I don't own it. I just like it.

Daniel Cartier (12:28)
CJ what is CJ

harm what what is CJ hammer hard sell?

Big Gay Ed (12:34)
CJ Hammer Hard is a an adult accessory store.

Daniel Cartier (12:40)
so they sell things that help people hammer hard, apparently. ⁓ wow, and fill holes. Okay, alright, I get it. No we're not, I mean this is, we're not getting off base at all, I mean this is the, you know, the thing is, straight people have their hooters and they have their gentleman's rhino clubs and the friggin' bada boom bada bing club and the big

Big Gay Ed (12:42)
Yes.

Yes. And fill holes.

Now we're getting off base here.

Daniel Cartier (13:10)
boob jobs and all the, you know, this, that, decorating their vaginas. straight people have all that. So we can have our little slutty things too. I'm sorry, it's like sex is part of life. You know, so I don't, I don't.

Big Gay Ed (13:22)
I know, I wanna come up with a

restaurant bar called Peckers where all the men are wearing jock straps and chaps and that's how they serve your food.

Daniel Cartier (13:29)
Ooh, I

would go to that. You know what, I might not because it's like, I'm weird. Once you get food involved, it's like, you know what, keep all your clothes on. It's like, that guy, the naked chef, it's like, I don't want to fucking be eating something that some naked guy, like, I kind of have a weird thing with food. I'm very like, germaphobic. that probably would not work for me. Hooters, actually.

Big Gay Ed (13:51)
Okay.

Daniel Cartier (13:52)
You know, I can deal with like a bunch of big boobs because it's like they're still wearing pants. I mean, they're not like walking around, you know, so something about when the genitals are exposed and then there's food involved. I-I-

Big Gay Ed (14:02)
Well, they could

have, okay, so they have tighty-whities on in CHAPS. How about that?

Daniel Cartier (14:06)
Tidy

whities I could deal with. that would be okay, you know? Or a thong. I like boxers. Like I think guys wearing boxers, that is a very sexy thing. No, boxers and chaps. Well, they could just be serving food in boxers.

Big Gay Ed (14:10)
Or-a-thon!

Boxers and chaps don't quite work for me.

Okay, there you go.

Daniel Cartier (14:25)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind that. That would be nice, you know. That would be very nice. I'm making it sound like a family restaurant. That would be very nice. It would be a nice afternoon being served food by some hunky guys and boxers. So I'm going to... Yeah, And the name of the restaurant will be called Box It Up.

Big Gay Ed (14:31)
Tight fitting boxers that are two sizes too small.

Some tea with grandma.

⁓ there you go.

Daniel Cartier (14:45)
There you go.

So if you're out there and wanna invest in a company, call me, we can talk about Box It Up. So my ex-partner, okay, this is totally off the rails. And you know, again, if this conversation is not interesting to other people, they literally don't have to fucking listen. So if you're like, if they, yeah, you can all fuck off. Like if you're listening to this right now they're like, what the fuck are they talking about?

Big Gay Ed (15:04)
But you can fuck off.

Daniel Cartier (15:13)
We are talking, we are just talking. you know, you don't have to fucking listen. I love how I'm already defensive. Like, I do this all the time. Okay, I have a couple really funny stories. I had all these questions, but I think my stories are funnier. So a couple things. Do you, let me ask you this. Do you project, like do you create scenarios in your head that are like, because I know it for me as an alcoholic who has been sober for a long time.

I used to drink over these perceived things that were never going to happen, but I would create these scenarios in my head and I would get so worked up about them. And I think part of it is being a creative person, but I think part of it is also being somebody who is an expert at catastrophizing. Is that how you say that? So.

Big Gay Ed (16:01)
Yep, yep. Protecting

into HAL, catastrophizing.

Daniel Cartier (16:05)
Yes, so This is perfect example of it. Like, I was having a... ⁓ Just a gay old time, taking a shower one day. It was a beautiful day out. It was a Sunday. The sun was out, you know. was literally like the perfect day. It was a beautiful spring day. It's kind of like... the only way it could have been more perfect was if there were little, cartoon animals, bringing me my,

wash rag and so you know what I mean like it was just it was like Lily Tomlin in nine to five her fantasy sequence where it was just really you know pastoral and pleasant and whatever and so I'm having this really nice shower

Big Gay Ed (16:38)
yeah.

Daniel Cartier (16:43)
It wasn't like an erotic shower or anything. It was just a shower, you know, but I'm having this shower. And then in the middle of all of it, I'm just think like, you know,

What if I,

What if I got audited? Like in the middle of everything, like with no like no need to be thinking about it at all. Like I just thought like, what if I got audited by the IRS? By the end of that fucking shower, I was like in this lady's office, like here, have my fucking blood and like slitting my wrist and like spraying blood all over like this imaginary woman who didn't even exist in this imaginary IRS office. And I'm like just.

screaming at her and like, take everything you fucking assholes, like here, do you want my fucking blood? And it's like, whoa, that escalated quickly. It's like, I was having a really nice shower. And then like by the end of the shower, I had created just from having a passing thought, I had created this entire scenario. Do you ever do stuff like that?

Big Gay Ed (17:50)
the time. have arguments with many people in my head in the shower at three o'clock in the morning while I wake up to go to the bathroom for my fourth time. have arguments in my head with people and you know I'll create the most insane projecting into hell kind of thing so that I can actually make these things real and I learned that as a child if I could figure out all the horrible things that could possibly happen anything less than the worst thing on the world that could happen was a win. So that's how I learned that.

Daniel Cartier (18:10)
huh.

That's...

Big Gay Ed (18:19)
And I want to

say it's more due to my creativity than my mental illness.

Daniel Cartier (18:24)
Right.

Yeah, I am. God, I do that so much. I had some other thing. There's a reason why I thought of that. And now I can't remember. This is why I should be taking notes while I talk to you, because there was some other reason why I brought that up. And now I doubt now I don't remember what it was. But, ⁓ OK, I'm going to get into some of my actual topical questions now, because this is so, as you know, this ⁓ this podcast is ⁓

from the point of view of a gay liberal atheist living in the Bible Belt. It's not the only way I define myself, but it is a huge part of my identity because the gay part is something that I did not choose to be gay. Like what teenager would choose to be the thing that other kids, because growing up, and I'm sure you had the same thing, growing up, ⁓

the ultimate insult was fag or queer or you know, like that was the ultimate insult. I I grew up, I'm a child of the 80s, so like, you know, fucking homo, queer, fag, you know, that was what everybody called everybody. so what kid, cause kids want to fit in, like what kid would be like, you know what, I'm going to be that thing. I'm going to be the thing that everybody uses as an insult. I want to be that, you know, it's like no kid would choose that. And it's like, so,

Big Gay Ed (19:23)
Yeah.

Daniel Cartier (19:48)
And then of course, you know, there's the thing of like, ⁓ well, if being gay is a choice, like, did you grapple with being straight? Like, did you, you know, like, did you did you like have to go suck a bunch of penises first to realize, well, you know, I'm really not into this. Like, I guess I'll go with vaginas. You know what I mean? Like, it's no, it's not a friggin choice, you know. ⁓ But anyways, so,

Big Gay Ed (19:58)
⁓ yeah.

No.

Daniel Cartier (20:13)
the liberal thing, I'm liberal, and I think being gay has definitely, ⁓ well, I was also raised in a really liberal household, but, you know, also being gay and seeing my community literally constantly have our rights threatened by conservatives made me liberal as well. And then, ⁓ and then the atheist thing is like, you know, that's just my beliefs.

I always say like I'm not trying to be a jerk, I'm actually I'm going to talk about that in a second, but you know, I don't believe in God and that's just me anyways.

Tell me, what, who are you, like, as far as all of this, like, these spectrum of things?

Big Gay Ed (20:58)
Hmm, who am I? Well, I was born and raised in a Catholic family, so that should tell you a lot. ⁓ And I, all I heard my entire life was I was gonna burn in hell because I was very sissified as a young child. ⁓ And ⁓ I think back then, because I was a child of the 70s, I think more of like a sissy or a mama's boy, those were the kind of things that they would call.

Daniel Cartier (21:04)
Mm-hmm.

Big Gay Ed (21:25)
Me that I can remember I don't remember them using the word fag. I don't remember that as a child But ⁓ they call me little girl a lot, you know, you're too girly but ⁓ so for me I Totally saw all this ⁓ Before I even knew what hypocrisy was in my family of origins Religion that they followed it was like so stupid

Daniel Cartier (21:36)
Mm-hmm.

Big Gay Ed (21:52)
And I hated it. hated going to... My parents didn't go to church on regular basis, but I hated it. So I grew up with this really bad idea of what this religious thing was. I had no idea what anything else was. So I totally turned my back on anything to do with religion in my early teens. And I just thought, fuck it. I can't deal with this. If there was a God, they would have killed my... This thing would have killed my parents or me as I begged many nights, you know, going to bed. Like, please kill me. Please kill my parents because it was just so horrible in my house.

And it never happened, so I thought, fuck it. If this thing that's supposed to be out there isn't listening to me, then, you know, well, fuck him. Or her, I don't want to misgender, you know, whoever it is. Yeah, I don't want to misgender them. Anyway, so.

Daniel Cartier (22:35)
Whoever it is.

It's Kim Kardashian. She's God. It's Joy Stewart from Three's Company. Yeah.

Big Gay Ed (22:43)
No.

think it's more like George Burns, maybe George Burns and Kim Kardashian. there you go, perfect. Or Mrs. Roper, I like Mrs. Roper better. Anyway.

So, where I'm at in recovery, I was allowed to find this god of my understanding, and I do use the word god when I share my, you know, sharing at meetings and stuff. But for me, I'm connected with this universal energy that connects you and I and everything. And I follow no religious doctrine, I've never read the Bible, I don't believe in this person in the sky looking down on me, punishing me, or anything like that. But I do feel...

the energy that flows through all living things. And to me, that's so meaningful because I do feel connected with people. I felt connected with you. We've never met in person. I feel very connected with you. You're one of my favorite people that I've ever met and I've never met you. ⁓ so, so I do. And I think that focused what, you know, I consider people consider prayer, focused intention on any one thing by a group of people may be helpful if this energy is flowing through things. But so

It's very strange when I explain my higher power because it is something that ⁓ is just, it's not a person or ⁓ anything that's ever been written about. It's just this feeling that I have. And I think inevitably it's just me and my human nature wanting me to be the best version of myself, but I don't know how because I was like brought up in such a fucked up situation. So.

this sense that I get, this energy that I get, this emotional stuff that I get, I think that's what I consider my, I don't know, but I have a really like, religion turns my stomach. just, when people start talking about Bible stuff, I just like, fuck you. And I just, can't deal with it. does that answer your question?

Daniel Cartier (24:45)
Mm-hmm.

Wow. Yeah, I relate to

a lot of that. it's like, know, I definitely, you know, I don't believe in any of the regular religion stuff. I'm pretty much I'm very literal when it comes to ⁓ the God thing. Like, I think that when I die, it's lights out. But as far as the energy, I absolutely agree. I think that there's my I always say that, you know, you know, going to this anonymous program that I go to to deal with my alcoholism.

That's where I got a lot of my spirituality as an adult because it's all about service work. It's all about, you know, giving back. You know, I got to give away like I in order to keep it, I have to give it away. ⁓ And that to when I'm dealing with like crazy thoughts or when I'm when I want to drink, which I've this last year has been very difficult for me. I've wanted to drink a lot and I haven't. But ⁓

Big Gay Ed (25:19)
Yeah, me too.

Daniel Cartier (25:43)
I don't apologize for it anymore. don't think it means I have bad sobriety or anything like that. think that I think people have a tendency to do things like what whatever their addiction is, whether it's, you know, sex or drugs or, you know, booze or gambling. I think we have a tendency to like get into whatever recovery we have and then almost feel like we need to achieve some sort of

Mental Nirvana where it's like now I'm gonna have this perfect way of thinking and I'm never gonna struggle with temptation like whatever and some people do come into like I'm just gonna use sobriety as an example because it's the thing I'm most familiar with but some people do come into sobriety and You know once they get over the initial like shock of being sober. They never want to drink again That has not been my experience ⁓ I have a lot of I've trained my body for years

Big Gay Ed (26:20)
Yeah.

Daniel Cartier (26:41)
of relapsing when things get tough, I'm just going to check out, I'm going to get drunk, you know, because it's like I first of all, I loved booze. mean, booze. I was never one of those alcoholics that was like, boo, and I didn't even like the taste of booze. I've heard people share their stories and say that I'm like, what kind of booze were you drinking? It's like, I loved everything about it. was like I was I was the love of my life, you know, like I

You know, I loved it so much that I almost drank myself to death. a lot of it was the taste. I I loved the taste of booze. And I loved what it did for me. I loved the way I felt when I was drunk because everything went away. Like this brain is a lot to live with 24 hours a day. This brain, like the brain that will take a shower and then by the end of the shower, they're threatening to kill themselves in an imaginary IRS office over an audit that's not even happening. They just happen to think about it.

Living with that type of brain 24 hours a day plus I have PTSD from being gay bashed and like I've you know I've and I'm just and I have OCD like I like my my parents gave me I love my parents but the the DNA they passed on to me gave me some really fucked up thinking the OCD I'm

Big Gay Ed (27:56)
So we're probably

related somehow, because I identify with a lot of that as well.

Daniel Cartier (28:01)
Like, and people are like, you don't have OCD. and I want to f**king smack them. It's like, okay, you have not lived with me. You do not know how. So like, I will do things like in the middle of the night, I'll be like,

Did anybody turn the stove burners on? Like, I'll just have like a thought like that. And then it's like, I'm out looking at the stove burners and touching all the knobs because it's a, it's a, have gas, gas stove. and then it's like, I'll be okay. Okay. They they're all off and then I'll walk away and then I'll think when I touched all the stove, stove knobs, did I

Big Gay Ed (28:28)
yeah. Yep.

Did you turn them on?

Daniel Cartier (28:45)
By accident knock one with my finger and it's like first of all you gotta it requires some effort to turn these fucking things on but it's like I'll have to get up and look again and and Cory knows like Cory when we leave to go anywhere My mom had this too. My mom I have these memories of my parents would leave to go out to dinner or something and then ⁓

Big Gay Ed (28:52)
Right.

Daniel Cartier (29:09)
If we forgot to ask them something, because this was back in the 70s and 80s, like before cell phones or anything, and we forgot to ask them, they'd be like, oh, well, they're going to be back in a couple of minutes. And sure enough, they would leave to go to dinner. And then the car would pull back in the driveway. And my mom would come in. She'd be like, I just need to check that I unplugged the iron. like, know, like there was stuff. It's like, so I have that.

Big Gay Ed (29:15)
Right.

I leave the driveway, I get a half a block down the road and I turn around and come back to make sure the garage door is shut all the way, which I worry about. ⁓ Or yeah, I worry about all this stuff. But for appliances, we have gas stuff. We have gas appliances too. Our appliances notify me if the burners are left on.

Daniel Cartier (29:42)
Mm-hmm.

How do they do that? Do they like, do they, they're like, how do they know to? Yeah, like, do they have like the, bought them all cell phones. It's like, yeah, our burners are on. This is bullshit.

Big Gay Ed (29:54)
So there's, there's, there's cares for OCD.

Hey bitch, you left the burner on, why you sleeping?

And

no one's touched me in an hour.

Daniel Cartier (30:11)
Yeah.

Big Gay Ed (30:14)
I am so OCD.

Daniel Cartier (30:16)
Do they all have names like,

like the one burner's name is like Becky and then the other burner's name is like, you know, Charlotte. Charlotte's burner's on, like they tell on each other.

Big Gay Ed (30:25)
my god, Becky.

Charlotte's lit, Charlotte's lit.

Daniel Cartier (30:31)
So, ⁓

Big Gay Ed (30:32)
I identify

with the OCD stuff. When I get Mona water on, because Mona gets bottled water out of the five gallon cooler. She doesn't drink tap water. So when I get the water in the morning, I count how many gurgles it takes to fill up her dish. And it's 10, just so you know.

Daniel Cartier (30:49)
well I'll remember that if I ever have to dog-set Mona.

Big Gay Ed (30:51)
It's

10 gurgles of the water jug for Mother's Water Dish to be filled.

Daniel Cartier (30:56)
I'll dog-set Mona

and then you'll come back and she'll have like a blonde streak in her hair and like she'll have like these like rave like the you know the braces they wear like when they go to like all-night raves. She'll have like a pierced ear and she'll be like fuck you dad and then she'll be like we're the she'll be like we're the dogs in America

Big Gay Ed (31:07)
Hahaha

Why aren't you back? You're a bummer!

Daniel Cartier (31:22)
She's like, I want to party!

Big Gay Ed (31:27)
So here's something interesting. There's practically no one I would trust to watch our dog, right? Just literally no one, but I would trust you to watch our dog. And that says a lot about your character.

Daniel Cartier (31:41)
Yeah, well, I appreciate that. actually, I've shared about this many times. People are like, why don't you tour? Why don't you, you know, come to Chicago and do a show or come here or come there? Honestly, the reason why my music career is it's all the dog's fault. Like that I have no real fucking music career anymore. It's like, and they were on my fourth step, by the way. Like I was like, I love my dogs, but like I had a lot of resentment. I was like, these friggin dogs, like I can't tour. can't.

do this, I can't do that. ⁓ Because for a long time, like everybody I dated, like they were, I mean, bless their hearts, but like they wouldn't walk them, so it was like, kind of felt like it was all on me to do all these things. I'm really lucky now to have Corey. Corey actually wants me to go tour. Like he probably wants to get me out of the fucking house, but like, ⁓

But yeah, like Cory and I, we like our space. We're kind of a weird couple that way. We are very independent. Like I love Cory, but he's free to do whatever the hell he wants. I'm free to do whatever the hell I want. And the funny thing is, you're in a relationship like that, you kind of lose the need to act on it. It's like, I guess that movie Hall Pass or something, it's like we,

Big Gay Ed (33:07)
yeah,

yeah,

Daniel Cartier (33:08)
He can do whatever the... I don't care. It's like,

don't own anybody. I'm not... My days of being jealous are over, like, you know, I've reached the point where I'm like, I'm 56. It's like, I can't imagine being... I don't know. You know, I'm just one person out of eight billion people, so I can't really expect somebody else to, make me into their end-all be-all. I mean, you know, it's like, you know, we're... So anyways, I'm getting, like, way...

Big Gay Ed (33:37)
no, it's perfect. I'm totally the jealous type and it is all about me, so.

Daniel Cartier (33:37)
you

Mm-hmm. No, I'm just I've like reached the point where I'm just like, you know go do whatever the fuck you want to do like I know that to me love is And and then I do want to talk about some other things, but you know love is Joan Rivers, okay. Now I'm really gonna get fucking gay Joan Rivers

said it perfectly to Kathy Griffin. So Kathy Griffin came to Joan Rivers once because she was in that relationship with that guy who ended up embezzling all that money from her. I don't know if you remember that, but she was married to him. I think his name was Ted or Tim or something. Anyways, she was with him and she had all the money. He didn't have any money. so if they wanted to go out to a nice restaurant, she had to pay. then if he wanted to pay, they would have to go to hamburger marries.

Big Gay Ed (34:15)
Hey.

Okay.

Daniel Cartier (34:33)
I'm so like She felt a little self-conscious about that and then Joan Rivers was like listen our relationship doesn't have to make any sense to anybody else except the two people in it like It doesn't need if it doesn't make sense to other people fuck them like they're they're not in the relationship So why the fuck do you care what people think and so like?

You know, I'm grateful that I've reached a point in my life where it's like, I have a relationship that makes sense to me. You know, it's like, I am very independent, Cory's very independent, and we respect each other so much, and like, he's just so brilliant, but it's like, I don't ever want to feel like I own, you know, it's like, you know, people can do whatever the hell they want,

but the reason why I brought him up is because I'm grateful that I've reached the point in my life also where I finally have somebody that like, if I were to go away for a month and do shows like in New York or Chicago I feel like I know that the dogs would be spoiled rotten the whole time So I mean, that actually is on my radar now for.

Big Gay Ed (35:29)
Sure.

Daniel Cartier (35:41)
the next year. Like I actually do want to start booking shows and going and it's for me. I'm a big money is ⁓ really important to everybody. mean, you know, money is something that we all think about and it's it drives so much as somebody who doesn't believe in God. I definitely believe in the power of money. ⁓ And well, you know, I mean, like Dolly Parton said, money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes being depressed a whole lot more fun. You know, like

Big Gay Ed (35:45)
Awesome.

Right.

Daniel Cartier (36:12)
I mean, money doesn't solve everything, it sure does solve a lot of it sure solves a lot of fucking things, you know, and so like one of the things it does is it does give people space to have some opportunity, you know, because when you're just living hand to mouth, which I've done so much of that in my life, you can't even see the forest from the trees, you know. So for me, if I'm going on tour, I think now it's not so much like, who's going to take care of my dogs?

Big Gay Ed (36:15)
It helps. It does help. Yeah.

Daniel Cartier (36:42)
I think for me now, the reason why I haven't started touring is because honestly, I'm paranoid about losing money. Like that I would go on tour and like, like I would spend all this money going to New York to do a show or to Chicago or they're here or there. And then like, you know, it would be like, hello Cleveland. And then it would be like five people in the audience. And then I'd be like, great. I just wasted like a thousand dollars coming here, you know? And

So I look at that and so I think that's been my big... ⁓ So you know, instead I'm doing stuff like this podcast and I'm trying to shop my music to TV and film and I'm thinking, okay, so maybe if I focus on that type of stuff, it'll actually over time, over the next year, create some sort of an awareness of who I am. And so that's basically what, yeah.

Big Gay Ed (37:33)
So

Motor City Fried, they have a music festival that goes all weekend long in downtown Detroit. And it's all different genres of music. it's so, you get connected in those kinds of things. And it would be, I think it'd be awesome.

Daniel Cartier (37:40)
Mm-hmm.

Well, I would love I love Detroit. First of all, Detroit. used to play. I actually played in Detroit quite a bit back in the 90s, like I'm dating myself. But then I would play in Hamtramck as well. And then I would go up and play in Flint. played in Flint, Michigan on a Monday night in the dead of winter. And ⁓ it was a honey. ⁓ Lord, have mercy on us all. It was ⁓ it was lots of boarded up.

Big Gay Ed (38:04)
yeah.

my, okay.

Daniel Cartier (38:22)
storefronts and then like I was going I was like is there any fucking business that's like not been shuttered because this was like still I think Flint's probably improved a little maybe I don't know but a man back back in the mid 90s it was still looking a little you know well done and so but then all of sudden there was this coffee shop

Big Gay Ed (38:30)
Right.

It has. A little bit.

Daniel Cartier (38:49)
And because it was a Monday night in the dead of winter, I was the only thing happening in Flint. So it was packed. And the other thing that was the other thing that was funny about that was that ⁓ all the people who showed up thought I was one of the villains from Strange Days, that movie with Juliet Lewis, because there is a villain in there. I was there was a picture of me in Interview magazine. ⁓

Big Gay Ed (38:54)
Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Daniel Cartier (39:17)
back in like 1994 or 1993, there was like, I had a full page thing in an interview magazine, which was very exciting because you know, but so then whoever styled the movie Strange Days saw that picture and they styled one of the villains literally the same sweater, they drew the tattoos on his head and everything. And so

Big Gay Ed (39:41)
Wow.

Daniel Cartier (39:44)
you see that guy, that villain, like beat up Angela Bassett in the, and it's like, you know, ⁓

Big Gay Ed (39:50)
Did you get royalties off of that or anything? Well, shit.

Daniel Cartier (39:52)
No, of course not. And

yeah, I mean, it's like, OK, well, you know, and I probably could have sued them. I don't know. I just so anyways, all these people showed up expecting like the extra. He didn't even have any lines in the movie, but they thought I was like the guy who had been in Strange Days. It's like, no, they just styled somebody after me. I wish because I would have been getting royalty checks. There was Peter Brady, the actor who played Peter Brady.

Big Gay Ed (40:12)
I it.

Right?

Daniel Cartier (40:22)
had this, was one of the investors in Dr. Tadoff, like tattooing, like your tattoos.

Big Gay Ed (40:31)
okay, okay, okay, okay, yep.

Daniel Cartier (40:33)
And so I have a photo of it somewhere, all over Los Angeles. They had taken a photo of my head, but they didn't show my face. It was just the top of my head. they, so they ⁓ had these flyers everywhere. Like if you went into a coffee shop, you know the type of flyers where you can rip off a thing at the bottom? They were everywhere. Like I probably saw like a hundred of them. And it said, removal on your mind?

Big Gay Ed (40:44)
Yeah.

Yep. Yep.

Daniel Cartier (41:02)
and then it was a picture of my tattooed skull.

Big Gay Ed (41:05)
No kidding.

Daniel Cartier (41:07)
Yeah, and so, mean... But, I mean, it was way back in the 90s, and people were like, you didn't sue them? And I'm like, I don't know. I mean, it's like, I was like, crashing on friends' couches. I wasn't, didn't have any money to go fucking hire a lawyer or anything. They probably were like, yeah, that little fucking folk singer, he's not gonna be able to sue us. He was just playing in the subway two years ago. Like, he doesn't have any fucking money, so, yeah.

Big Gay Ed (41:10)
That seems to have some copyright infringement.

Bye.

Daniel Cartier (41:32)
I just viewed it as ⁓ a compliment that Peter Brady, because I love the Brady Bunch, like that they, maybe I was on.

Big Gay Ed (41:39)
Everybody but Cindy.

Cindy, I don't like Cindy because she's a republican.

Daniel Cartier (41:42)
she's a

yeah, she's horrible like she actually even used the F.A.G. word on one of her podcasts apparently. So let's talk about these MAGA people. Let's talk about these MAGA people. ⁓

Big Gay Ed (41:54)
my. Which neighbor

would you like me to talk about first?

Daniel Cartier (41:58)
I want to talk about ⁓ coexisting with people. I know that you struggle. So just so you know, both Ed and I hate Donald Trump. We think he's the worst fucking pile of shit, human piece of garbage, fucking farting, fucking stupid asshole, fucking douchebag. We both hate him. I pretty much described him accurately, didn't I?

Big Gay Ed (42:24)
Yeah, you got most of it there. Yay, we're good.

Daniel Cartier (42:27)
I'm sure there's more things we can add, but he's a corrupt, lying...

Big Gay Ed (42:29)
Right.

narcissistic, homophobic, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Daniel Cartier (42:36)
racist, sexist, and just awful.

and so I'll be talking to people who support Donald Trump. I mean, I live down in the Bible Belt. I live right in the heart of Trump country. me and Cory are the town liberals, you know,

Our neighbors had a big Trump flag and whatever and I love my neighbors. so don't get me wrong it's like I still this is the thing I struggle with if I didn't love people It wouldn't hurt as much the fact that I love people and I know them outside of their love for him And it's a lot of times. I have a hard time

What's the word when you're trying to, when you're trying to, ⁓ God, what is that word? I'm trying to make peace with the version of them I have and then their actual political beliefs. It's like it doesn't line up to me and a lot of times I'm like trying to make sense of it. It's like how can the person that I know who,

Big Gay Ed (43:31)
Yeah.

Daniel Cartier (43:39)
claim to love gay people and they claim to not be racist and like they'll even say like my neighbors, like, you know, we love you and Cory and like sons to us and all this other stuff. And I know that they mean it. And like if they have tomatoes that they've grown, they bring produce over and like, and so I have a wonderful relationship with them and I love them.

Big Gay Ed (43:53)
Right, right.

Daniel Cartier (43:58)
But I know that they had their big Trump sign where he looking like Rambo or something on an American flag, which is completely delusional. ⁓ And he came over and he was actually crying and he said, I'll take my Trump flag down. I know you don't like And that was really nice. So they were trying their best to coexist with us. ⁓

Big Gay Ed (44:16)
⁓

Sure.

Daniel Cartier (44:24)
And then after the election, as I've shared about many times, I kind of flipped out. I was unfriending people and blocking people. I put a sign, I actually hung a sign on our front door saying, do not knock on our door. We are in mourning. I actually like as if somebody had died because I felt like democracy had died. I didn't want anybody stopping by or anything. I didn't want to talk to anybody.

Like I really, and then I threw a chair across the room, like I was pissed off. And I don't feel bad about that. think, you know, that's where I was at the time. It's like, you know, it was asking me to accept a lot that I did not want to accept. You know, like, I mean, I'm accepting now. Yes, he's president. You know, I get that. He's not, I don't call him. He's not my president, but I mean, he's president, I'll grant him that, but.

Big Gay Ed (45:08)
Right.

He's not my president.

Daniel Cartier (45:20)
so how do you as big gay ed what is coexisting look like for you

Big Gay Ed (45:28)
Well, we live, like I said, a, well, pretty far, we're about a half an hour, 40 minutes from downtown Detroit. So we're in a little town called Brighton, and we actually live outside of the town of Brighton in a more rural area. And like when I look out, when I'm looking out our windows, I cannot see any of our neighbors. So we have a little acreage here. We live on a private road.

And all the people on the private road are MAGAs, other than us. So we're the only gays out here that I always joke around about. We're the only two gays that live in Livingston County, which I know is not exactly the truth. But anyway, ⁓ but with our neighbors, a few of the neighbors, we just know who they are and may have their numbers in case, hey, if your house is on fire, someone's breaking and I'm going to call you, right? And same thing. We're kind of there for each other if we need to be. But a couple of our neighbors, we're not.

friends like they're coming over for dinner, but we talk and we communicate. So I'm able to set aside. It's difficult because sometimes I get angry. like, well, fuck you. Why did you vote for this asshole who wants to see me in a concentration camp, right? Or shoved off to some other planet. But so for me, it's ⁓ being more who I am. Like I love to wear my gay as fuck t-shirt to the local Kroger.

Daniel Cartier (46:36)
Mm-hmm.

Big Gay Ed (46:47)
because it scares people, right? And I have my little rainbow stuff on and I'll do things just because for me it's even more important now to be who I am so that other people who are afraid to be who they are know that it's okay. Here's this 61 year old queen being who he is so maybe this 10 year old child who sees that. I usually have my nails painted. It's like they can say well maybe it's okay for me to be who I am too even though I live out here in this rural area.

Daniel Cartier (46:53)
Mm-hmm.

Right.

Big Gay Ed (47:17)
And

the gentleman who lives behind us, I don't know, about a thousand feet behind us on their own plot of land, he is one of the kindest people that I know. He's done more for Sam and I than anyone ever has, I think. he's just, I can call him any time of the day or night he's there. I actually was in the recovery room after heart surgery and Sam was home at our house with his mom here.

And our power went out. So I called from the recovery room. I called our neighbor and I said, Bob, our power's out. He said, what do you need? Sam needs someone to come up and we need a generator. Within five minutes, he was up here, a generator in the backyard running, hooked up to all the things we needed it hooked up to. And he's just a person. He's just a kind person. So I know that not all Republicans are hateful, MAGA assholes. ⁓

Daniel Cartier (48:13)
Right. Yeah.

Big Gay Ed (48:17)
But it's hard for me to separate the person from the politics sometimes, especially with what's going on. So my first instinct is fuck you all. I don't want nothing to do with any of you. And it's very hard to get past that. It's very hard for me to get past that with a lot of people. Family members, for instance, I just, minimal if any interaction and do not say anything about

Daniel Cartier (48:28)
Right.

Big Gay Ed (48:45)
I always get my little digs in about, you know, how fucked up the world is because of this asshole. And they will just sit there pan, this stone cold, won't even say anything because, you know, I remember one time sitting at a restaurant, I won't say which family members it was, but it was after a lot of this shit had gone awry about three months ago, whatever situation was going on. And I was going off.

Daniel Cartier (48:47)
Mm-hmm.

Big Gay Ed (49:14)
on how afraid I was for my family, my marriage, my life, all these things. They just stared at their plates and would not say a word. And then after I got done with my little rant, it was as if I never spoke. And they just carried on with their conversation as if they blocked me entirely out, which is okay. I don't care, fuck them.

Daniel Cartier (49:34)
Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, it's yeah, I know it can be very upsetting. I trust me. So I've I've gone through all the different range of emotions with ⁓ and you know, I will say it. The one thing I will say in our defense is this is so much it's gone way beyond red versus blue or Republican versus Democrat. Like that seems quaint.

Big Gay Ed (50:00)
Yup. Yup.

Daniel Cartier (50:03)
to at this point. The MAGA thing is, yeah, the MAGA thing is its own, it's, don't even view that the same as I viewed like Republicans growing up, like Republican, it's like, it is, it is literally because it's not so much like, oh, okay, we have like differences in fiscal responsibility or whatever. I mean, oh, or the liberals want to spend a bunch of money or the conservatives don't want to.

Big Gay Ed (50:05)
We are being attacked.

me.

Daniel Cartier (50:30)
finance these social programs that are gonna help people. Like that's just a different way of looking at the world, like as far as like how to manage things. Even though everybody wants the same thing. Everybody wants, you know, to have a roof over their head. They wanna know that their loved ones can eat. They wanna know that if they're sick, they can go to the doctors. These are very universal things that, you know, everybody wants. so, and everybody loves their dogs. I found that...

you can bond with anybody over pets. Pets are the great equalizer. Everybody loves their pets. And their kids and everything. I don't love their kids, like, ⁓ with their little germy fingers. But anyways, everybody loves their families. this is way beyond that because for me, with Trump, it's a whole other level of corruption.

Big Gay Ed (51:10)
Me neither.

Daniel Cartier (51:27)
and just corruption. It's just like so blatantly corrupt. Like the fact that yesterday and it's this is the problem I've had with this fucking podcast is that like I want to talk about things that are topical, but it's like every week it's just like this steamroller of stuff that I don't even have time to like mint because it's just one thing after the next. It's like constant, constant. ⁓

Big Gay Ed (51:45)
Right.

Daniel Cartier (51:55)
constant ⁓ blatant hypocrisy and blatant corruption and I mean to the tune of like trillions of dollars, know being funneled to the wealthiest people while other people have to scramble behind them for crumbs and You know, I still can't get past the fact that America voted for the guy for the ex-felon who has multiple sexual assault charges

probably raped, you know, allegedly raped underage girls and bragged about grabbing women by the pussy and mocked disabled people and colluded with a foreign power that actually did happen. And he did get impeached by Congress. It's the spineless Senate people, you know, were too busy licking his fat fucking stupid butthole to like follow through and do the right thing because they were like, you know, one, they were all up for fucking reelection. It was so obviously corrupt.

So it's always been corrupt. that he actually like instigated a full on attack of our nation's capital based on phony stolen election charges that have been continually debunked and continually debunked and continually debunked. We know that Joe Biden won the 2020 election and he's still fucking going on about it now. And it's like, and, and

Big Gay Ed (52:56)
Yeah.

Daniel Cartier (53:23)
Hardening the fucking January 6th rioters. I mean, here's the thing that I think is very chilling

Thank God those people did not find any of the people they showed up to. You know, like if they had found Nancy Pelosi, I actually, I said this in my very first episode. I think we would have seen her get ripped limb from limb on live TV. I think we would have literally seen people get lynched on live TV. Like if they had found Mike Pence,

Big Gay Ed (53:36)
Yeah.

Daniel Cartier (53:54)
or Nancy Pelosi or AOC or any member of the squad or anybody like that, I think we would have seen fucking like Hunger Games shit, like live on TV. And nobody talks about that. Nobody talks about the what ifs of how much worse it could have been had they actually succeeded in finding some of the people they showed up to find. I mean, you know.

Big Gay Ed (53:54)
Yeah. ⁓

Well, and

the asshole still would have pardoned them if that had happened.

Daniel Cartier (54:20)
I here's the thing, if that had happened, maybe that would have been enough for America not to forgive him, maybe that would have been a bridge too far, we'll never know. But it's like, it's chilling for me to think like, wow, you know, it's kind of like well, so-and-so drove drunk every single night. He never hurt anybody.

So I guess we'll pardon him because nobody ever got hurt. I mean, he drove in blackouts through the center of town on, you know, like in the middle of afternoon with kids crossing the street and everything, nobody ever got hurt. So let's just pardon him. it's like, it still doesn't make it okay. Like a lot of people could have died, you know? And so I keep going back to that. It's like, you know, why isn't anybody ever talking about the what ifs? Like what if they had succeeded? To me, that's the most important question.

that makes pardoning the people inexcusable. And that's the type of stuff I think about when I start, like I'll start thinking about that and then all the people that I'm peacefully coexisting with, I'll start having those arguments with them, but they're not actually here. Like it's just, I'm a crazy person arguing to an empty room. Like, well, what about this and what about that?

I've said many-

Big Gay Ed (55:33)
That's why I'm

so frustrated with our Democratic representatives in Washington because they're trying to fight fire with a fucking paper fan in Congress that says, you know, whatever, that first thing that he did where they have the little fans there. And I'm thinking, you cannot fight a forest fire with a fucking paper fan. And if you don't start slinging shit like he's slinging shit, it's all a distraction to me.

Daniel Cartier (55:39)
⁓ God.

I know. Yeah, it was ridiculous.

Mm-hmm.

Big Gay Ed (55:59)
And all

the distraction is to keep people on edge because that's how you control mask numbers of people is you keep them guessing on edge and anxious. And if I didn't have the program of recovery to make me realize this, this is intentional on his behalf. It's not, he's orchestrating one of the biggest heists in the universe. He's taking America for every bit of natural and financial resources he can. And this is, I call this his

Daniel Cartier (56:08)
Mm-hmm.

Big Gay Ed (56:29)
⁓ his ⁓ retaliation and payday tour or whatever the fuck he's doing now for the however many years he lasts and he's just out to get people that he doesn't like or that doesn't like him and to fleece us for every fucking penny he can out of this government and he doesn't give a shit about anybody.

Daniel Cartier (56:47)
And the thing about it that's so maddening to me is that it's so fucking obvious. It's not even, it's in plain sight. know, it's like, it's not even, the fact that he pardoned all these, like what is it, like 76 or 78 people yesterday that were all involved in trying to perpetrate this.

Big Gay Ed (56:53)
Right. That's the thing. He doesn't care that it is obvious.

Right?

Daniel Cartier (57:13)
phony stolen election thing like friggin Rudy Giuliani and like that that fucking and it's like shit like this happens can you imagine if Obama or Joe Biden had first of all spread phony stolen election charges like where like they were like no I actually won and then they got a big mob of angry people to attack our nation's capital and then later on

Big Gay Ed (57:18)
I saw that. yeah.

Right.

Daniel Cartier (57:43)
on all the people that colluded with them to you perpetrate dislike stolen like they basically were trying to steal the election back that's what they were trying to do which is completely illegal arm and you know he the fact that there was like almost eighty people involved in this thing that got charged with crimes i mean you know by their peers you know

like and now it's like well let's just all pardon them like as if it never happened and it's like that's

Big Gay Ed (58:15)
He

opened the doors to allow people to openly hate and be prejudiced and do all this shit that he's doing in his 2016 thing, stint. And then when he got up for reelection again, it was like, they're all ready because they want to do it anymore. They want to publicly, visually, obviously be able to hate people. And it's just horrible.

Daniel Cartier (58:39)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, and it's sad because I don't think that everybody who voted for him, you know, do I think every MAGA person, like, or every Trump voter is racist? No. Do I think every Trump voter is homophobic? No. Like, I'm not, I, so for me, coexisting with people, it's, it's really fucking hard because, you know, you know this from, you know, the program of recovery that we're in, one of the, lack of power, that is our dilemma.

Like, you know, that, that, I know for me, the things that drive me the craziest are when I feel powerless. When I feel powerless, it drives me fucking crazy. And I think, so when you see people, and I know you and I have both been guilty of this, not guilty, I mean, I'm not, don't feel bad about it, but like, when you see somebody just posting endlessly on Facebook, like, you know, fuck him and like memes and everything.

I think part of that is when people feel powerless and they don't feel like they have any recourse because it's not like I can go to Washington and stop this madness. I what the fuck am I gonna do? I'm one person. I'm living out in the middle of bumfuck Tennessee with my handicapped dogs. And what, I'm gonna get in my 2004 Chevy Malibu and drive to...

Big Gay Ed (59:44)
Right.

Daniel Cartier (1:00:01)
You know, Washington, D.C. and fix everything. And it's like, can't I mean, yeah, I can show up at a protest and everything like the no kings protest. And I love the fact that Americans are doing that. And I think it's really important, I think now more than ever, like even you wearing your T-shirt, like you said, I mean, I think visibility, me doing this podcast, I was I was really struggling with my identity doing this podcast because I was and I've alluded to it in the last couple of episodes.

Big Gay Ed (1:00:04)
Right.

Absolutely.

Daniel Cartier (1:00:30)
where it's like who the fuck is Daniel? Is Daniel like a singer? Is Daniel an artist? Is Daniel some angry gay liberal atheist who wants to talk about politics? And I've had to reconcile the fact that Daniel's just Daniel. Like Daniel is who he is. He's not gonna be for everybody. I've lost so many people. Like my email list, when I started, ⁓ when I started, when I sent out the email about,

Hey, I have a new podcast and it's called There Is No God and We're All Gonna Die. Man, people started unsubscribing from me left and right. I lost hundreds of quote unquote fans because I guess they were like, you know what, fuck that guy. You know, because a lot of people, they discovered my music and they, you know, they liked my music for whatever reason and, but they didn't, they certainly didn't like the fact that I was a gay liberal atheist. Like they didn't want to have anything to do with that.

Big Gay Ed (1:01:10)
Yeah.

Right.

Daniel Cartier (1:01:27)
and more power to them. not taking that away. So I know for me, part of me coexisting is, okay, maybe you need to figure out a way to compartmentalize what you do. I, I'm actually a big thing that I'm looking into is my online footprint because we do live in a digital age and that this podcast, I may have to risk this podcast. It's not like a lot of people are even listening to this anyways, but I mean like

I may have to risk losing some listeners by almost like relaunching the podcast, like moving it to its own universe and just promoting that separately from my music because I also don't want people who want to listen to my music, like a lot of them may not want to be political or hear about and the whole there is no God thing. get it. Like some people to me, it's like

Big Gay Ed (1:02:10)
huh.

Daniel Cartier (1:02:26)
It's a very spiritual, it's a very spiritual, ⁓ there is no God and we're all going to die. That is where all my spirituality lies because, because I don't think there is a God, it means that I have to be the love I want to see in the world. I need to be the change I want to see in the world. I need to be the bright spot. if that at all comes from us, like that whatever hell or heaven I create for myself and those around me, it's all going to generate from me. And it's not going to be from some

guy in the sky who granted he has great abs but like he's you know yeah you know i mean and he's got great flowing hair i mean you know i'll give him that like he's he's a hottie but like you know i'm i don't and i he probably was a real person you know they there's been i've read this thing once god i'm getting way off the rails but that back in

Big Gay Ed (1:03:02)
At Jesus.

Right.

Daniel Cartier (1:03:23)
Jesusy times, whatever you want to call them, like back in the BC times and that year zero, I guess. There was a lot of Jesus's walking

Big Gay Ed (1:03:28)
Yep, yep.

Daniel Cartier (1:03:35)
if you're Christian block your ears because you're not gonna like what I'm about to say

people have suggested that, yeah, Jesus may have lived, there also may have been like a bunch of Jesuses, and that we've kind of made them all into like an amalgamation of a guy, that, that we've kind of combined them all into like this one guy. but I don't know, I don't need to worry about that. I wasn't alive back then, you know, it may all just be a bunch of bullshit, or maybe he is the son of God, and maybe I'm full of shit. And

Big Gay Ed (1:03:54)
Sure.

Daniel Cartier (1:04:06)
I mean, that's the case, I'll find out when I die. I mean, that's the risk I take. if there is a god that I really don't believe in hell. think that's a ridiculous thing. think hell is something that was created to control people. The fear of hell. Yeah, I mean, you know, but I mean, like hell is the type of thing like when you're like, you're gonna burn forever. It's like, really?

Big Gay Ed (1:04:22)
We're living in it right now with this administration.

Daniel Cartier (1:04:31)
God's gonna create somebody and then God's gonna give that person a brain and then

Big Gay Ed (1:04:37)
You

know what? So many of my friends would be with me, so it would be okay.

Daniel Cartier (1:04:41)
Yeah, exactly. You know, I mean, so maybe I will burn forever. I don't know. mean, I always like when I call up my Christian friend, Matt, and, you know, I'll say some really like off color things and then I'll just be like, they're just stoking those flames. Like, they're just waiting for me. Like when I start

Big Gay Ed (1:05:03)
I love the meme

on Facebook where the two people get in the elevator and they push the button and then they go to heaven and then it's going down. It's like me and my bestie thinking we're going to heaven and they push the button and it's starting to go down.

Daniel Cartier (1:05:12)
Yeah.

Yeah,

I mean, yeah, I've said so many things in life that I mean, I'm sure if there is a hell they've been stoking those flames for a while for me. So it is what it is. But man, we have talked about a lot and this has been wonderful.

Big Gay Ed (1:05:17)
Hmm

yeah. Yeah.

Daniel Cartier (1:05:32)
What would you say, because I think this is going to be the entire episode. I don't even think I'm going to take any calls because we've already talked for over an hour and I don't want to edit any of this out. think it's I think we are just fascinating people on our own. like, why would I? Yeah, why would I? Why would I edit? Yeah, like I don't think I like what now I'm going to take a call from Shana in Sioux City, ⁓ you know, fucker. No.

Big Gay Ed (1:05:40)
Okay.

Cough

I agree. How could you improve on this?

Daniel Cartier (1:06:02)
But if you are watching, I am gonna take do some house cleaning stuff now if you are watching I Desperately need voicemails. I am chasing after you people to leave me these friggin voicemails Call the friggin show go to Daniel Cartier calm hit the Podcast it says podcast right at the top of the friggin screen hit podcast then there's a button that says

Big Gay Ed (1:06:09)
Ahem.

Daniel Cartier (1:06:31)
all the show and you can call the fucking show you can say whatever you want you can be like Daniel I hate you Daniel I love you or that that you and Ed were just so great talking together and ⁓ Ed's awesome and you suck and whatever you can say whatever you want or yeah or you can like rant about Donald Trump or if you're a MAGA person I I would love to have some MAGA people call

Big Gay Ed (1:06:50)
Yeah, say that, say that.

Daniel Cartier (1:07:00)
Call and tell me I'm a piece of shit. Tell me that my thinking is completely wrong about everything. I would love, I would find that interesting and I will not be offended because I do love everybody and I want my podcast to be a place where people can come and I want it to be a safe place for anybody. So if you are a MAGA person and you want to call and tell me why I'm wrong about Donald Trump, hear it.

and I will definitely probably have my response but I'll be nice about my response. That is one thing. I will say this and then we can wind it up but I actually was accused on my personal Facebook page this guy who I don't even know how I know him but he he got all mad because I posted this thing I don't know if you remember it was about a month ago where ⁓

I said, you know, I think it's pretty ironic that me, a gay liberal atheist, has better Christian values than MAGA Christians that I know. Like, a lot of these MAGA Christians I know, like, their fucking Christian values are crap. And so here I am, like...

Big Gay Ed (1:08:02)
Yeah. Yeah.

Right. And I would agree with that

statement that you made. Yep, about you. I do.

Daniel Cartier (1:08:12)
The gay liberal atheist is actually like seems to like have more empathy and compassion and kindness not that I'm saying I'm this amazing person because trust me I can be a total fucking douchebag, but like You know I still do think that you know my heart's in the right place and clearly like when I hear some of these MAGA people talk It's just you know like Kristi Noem. You know I'm sure she thinks she's a good Christian as she fucking shoots her dog in cold blood

You know, like honestly, these fucking people, miserable, I won't say, ⁓ I call her a word that I can't really say on this, because it's very insulting, yeah, she's a C word. She's a C word. And I'm not gonna say, it's one of the few words I refuse to say. If now I lived over in England, they use that word all the time. It's like they say it left and right. mean, Ricky Gervaisus said it in his, ⁓

Big Gay Ed (1:08:46)
⁓ yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I said it earlier.

Daniel Cartier (1:09:10)
stand up routine, like they just say it like it's just, and she's a miserable C word. Like that's what I would call her. But I, over here in America, we don't say that word as much. And it's like, but man, when I'm by myself, I have to say it. No offense to the ladies listening. I do call her that. Cause she's, she's horrible. She's the worst. Anybody who shoots their frigging dog in cold blood like that. Anyways, so I think,

Big Gay Ed (1:09:12)
Yeah. Right.

Yes, she is.

Daniel Cartier (1:09:37)
And I'm not saying I'm not perfect, but I do think that I have better Christian values as a gay liberal atheist than somebody like her. I'll just use her as an example. So I posted that.

Big Gay Ed (1:09:46)
I agree. You could be a

modern day Jesus with no hair.

Daniel Cartier (1:09:50)
Who says I'm not? I mean, you know, so I could hang around with 12 guys, you know, some disciples.

Big Gay Ed (1:09:53)
I didn't say that.

Daniel Cartier (1:10:06)
I'll start I'll have a casting call So anyways, ⁓ yeah, I just got distracted by the whoo. So anyways, I got my heart going so I posted that thing and then people were like, you know, heck yeah, you're awesome, you know when they sing but then this one guy was like all you do is make fun of religious people and

you know, you just, he accused me of basically just making fun of religious people and, know, being an asshole to religious people. and I really had to stop and think about it. It's like, and I went back and I looked at all my social media posts and I started listening to my podcast again, cause it really concerned me

When it comes to religion, never want to be dismissive of other people's beliefs. For me to say there is no God and we're all going to die, that's just what I believe. Now we can all agree that we're all going to die. Yeah, and that's a big part of my spirituality too because I believe that I'm going to die and it lights out. It really puts an emphasis on making every day count and every moment count. And that's a big part of my spirituality. ⁓ Don't put off the joy I can bring into the world today.

Big Gay Ed (1:11:08)
Right.

Daniel Cartier (1:11:26)
because I may not get a chance to bring that joy into the world tomorrow. know, it's like tomorrow's not guaranteed and you know, so. And then there is no God. mean, that's just my belief. And so I'm allowed. to have a platform where I voice that. And it doesn't mean that trying to take away the beliefs of other people by saying that it's like it's just we live for now in a free society. And so. There needs to be a checks and balances like for all the

crazy right-wing religious stuff at least some people are on the polar opposite saying well I don't believe in any God and I think that's important for a society to function so that it kind of keeps things in balance you know in a weird way so in a way I feel like I'm performing some sort of fucking service but anyways my I'm never I'm never going to

Big Gay Ed (1:12:16)
This is service work.

Daniel Cartier (1:12:20)
Be like, if you believe in Jesus, you're stupid. Like, I would never say that because like my best friend is Christian and honestly, I am actually kind of jealous of people who have that faith. I wish I, my brain worked that way because I do see why it would be nice to believe in that. And I've said many times, if I'm wrong, awesome. You mean there's more? You mean when I die, I get to go to heaven and I get to fly around in a robe and you know,

see my dogs that passed away and see my parents like, yeah, sign me up for that. Like it sounds incredible. My brain doesn't work that way. So I don't think I'm ever going to be believing stuff like that, but I get why other people do. And I see the comfort in it. And so I don't want to take that away from people. like, that would just make me an asshole. Anyways, so he accused me of this, like that I was just always poking fun at religious people. And I went.

back over my, ⁓

And I guess that's why I talk about coexisting because, you know, so I'm actually going back through all my episodes to make sure that I'm not being mean to religious people because that's not the goal with this podcast. And because I do believe that we all have to coexist. Now, I am mean to like Christian nationalists, racist, bigoted people who are like

Big Gay Ed (1:13:47)
Right. Right.

Daniel Cartier (1:13:48)
the the brand of Christianity that I don't view as being Christian at all. Like I think it's just blatant bigotry, racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia. That, yeah, all bets are off. Like I am merciless when it comes to that. But I don't view I don't view that as religion. I view that as just bigotry. I think it's people using their religion to

Big Gay Ed (1:13:58)
Yep. Yep.

Yeah, I'm right there with you.

to hate

people.

Daniel Cartier (1:14:14)
justify

being douche, like assholes, you know, like, you know, when some guy, the first episode I ever talked about that my asshole of the week was that guy, Stephen Falco up at the Sure Foundation Baptist Church, who was saying gay people should kill themselves and that if they weren't willing to kill themselves, the government should kill them. And it's like, OK, that's not Christianity. That's like I, I, I, I've,

Big Gay Ed (1:14:17)
Yeah.

yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Daniel Cartier (1:14:42)
I know wonderful Christians who, and I'm just using Christianity as an example. ⁓ I also know wonderful Muslims who are open-minded and I know wonderful Buddhists. I don't want to, and I love that they have that. Like, I get it. Like, I never ever want to be dismissive to that. So I guess for me, this coexisting that we're talking about that we both struggle with,

Big Gay Ed (1:14:54)
Yep. Yep.

Daniel Cartier (1:15:12)
I for me I can only speak for myself, but it's a it's a day to day, one day at a time thing of trying my best and I do not do it perfectly, but trying to be mindful, trying to be mindful that I may not be able to change the way somebody votes. But if I care about the

policies that I care about, like if I care about a woman's right to choose, if I care about treating people who come here to America for a better life, treating them with grace and dignity and not treating them like quote unquote illegals, which is such an offensive term to me, ⁓ if I care about my transgender friends and my non-binary friends, or if I care about all my gay brothers and sisters, lesbians and gays and bisexuals and whatever people could be, or my intersex friends,

Big Gay Ed (1:15:54)
Right.

Daniel Cartier (1:16:07)
If I care about the environment and if I care about voting rights and my friends who may come in a myriad of colors, if I care about all these things, then wouldn't I want to be the best possible advocate for those things that I could be? And would that be me screaming at people and calling them stupid? Which I've done.

Or would that be me being gracious and still trying to keep them in my life? It's not easy to do. It's asking a lot of all of us.

Big Gay Ed (1:16:46)
No, I don't want to deny other

people, I don't want to deny other people their beliefs or their thoughts or their feelings or whatever until you cross the line of wanting to deny me. So, you know, it's like.

Daniel Cartier (1:16:58)
Sure. And

I do think there's something to be said that sometimes you do have to take off your gloves and fight because I think that, yes, I could be a people pleaser as well and that's not good. So I do think that when somebody's beliefs, when I find them offensive, I can tell them like, listen, and there may be times where I do have to cut people out of my life.

And like, I'm not saying that being friends with me is this big prize, like, I don't get to be friends with Daniel anymore. Like, I'm sure they'll live a fine life without me in their life, but maybe it'll make them think, you know, like maybe it'll, you know, if I'm like, you know what, I, cause I have had to let some friends go where I'm like, you know what, you're going down this rabbit hole. I can't follow you just so you know, every single time I do it, I've done it. I've told them that I love them.

You know, like I, my friend, I had a woman that I knew for years, for decades, and she was this really cool lady. Like she was older than me, but she was this really cool lady. And then she was kind of like this punk lady. And then later on in life, she went right wing and now she's like this MAGA person. And I didn't recognize her anymore. And she, she started like just trashing like all, she would just...

Big Gay Ed (1:17:54)
you

and

Daniel Cartier (1:18:20)
kept posting stuff about how liberals were stupid and everything and I was like, you know, you're talking about me. And after a while I was like, you know, I just, I can't entertain this anymore. I mean, this was years ago and I think Trump, Donald Trump has ruined a lot of relationships. I think that will be one of his biggest legacies is that he has really, he has divided America in a way no other figure ever has.

Big Gay Ed (1:18:25)
Right?

Daniel Cartier (1:18:46)
I think more than anybody else in American history that will be his legacy is how he really got America to turn on itself like that.

Big Gay Ed (1:18:54)
And he got the government

to shut down for the longest period of time in history. So that'll be his other legacy. ⁓

Daniel Cartier (1:19:00)
You know. Well, this has

been wonderful. ⁓ Thank you so much for, we have talked now for a good hour and.

Big Gay Ed (1:19:05)
Good half.

20 minutes.

Daniel Cartier (1:19:13)
hour and 20 minutes. Well, I think this is good. So this will be a longer podcast and I'm here for all of it. I think it's great. I will probably film a little thing beforehand, a little thing afterwards to wrap it up. But I don't think I'm going to really touch this. I think this interview will stand on its own as a wonderful interview between two people who obviously care about the world and care about the people in their lives and the animals in their lives.

It is what it is. And you know I think the world of you, you're one of my favorite people on the planet. And so I'm so grateful that you were able to do this and I hope you'll come back. ⁓ I think people will want a big gay ed revisit at some point. I can't imagine that they wouldn't.

Big Gay Ed (1:19:50)
Thank you.

I'm available

anytime. Have your people reach out to my people. We'll get it on the bus.

Daniel Cartier (1:20:05)
⁓

And you know when I meet you you're gonna get the biggest hug in the

Big Gay Ed (1:20:09)
Hmph.

can't wait. Actually, real quick, we were going to go on our first RV experience this weekend, or on vacation this week, Sam and I, and we were talking about coming down to Tennessee to see you. And we just we couldn't drive that far on our first big RV excursion. So we'll have to make that something in the future where we can bring Mona, we can all get together with the dogs and you and just have a blast.

Daniel Cartier (1:20:29)
⁓

that sounds lovely. Well, so you will have to do that at some point. Yes, that will be awesome. So I can serenade you in person. Yeah, I can break out my guitar and sing you guys some songs. Like, I can make it all about me.

Big Gay Ed (1:20:43)
Yes, yes.

There we go.

as it should be.

Daniel Cartier (1:21:00)
I'm just like...you drive all the way down here, it's like, okay, shut up, I'm gonna sing now. Let me entertain you, I'm Baby Daniel, what's your name?

Big Gay Ed (1:21:14)
I can't wait. It'll be fabulous.

Daniel Cartier (1:21:16)
have mercy on us all. I love you. Have a wonderful, thank you so much Ed and we will talk soon.

Big Gay Ed (1:21:19)
Love you too!

Sounds great.

Daniel Cartier (1:21:25)
Alright, have a lovely rest of the day.

Big Gay Ed (1:21:28)
You too. Bye.

Daniel Cartier (1:21:29)
Bye!

Daniel Cartier (1:21:33)
All right, that was my interview with Big Gay Ed. Ed, thank you so much for coming and spending that time with me. It was so nice. And you're gonna definitely have to come back and do it again. I wanna bring some other people on as well. in the meantime, again, call the show, leave a voice message I wanna hear from you. Just go to daniolcartier.com, click on podcast, and there's a button that says, call the show. daniolcartier.com.

click on podcast and then click on the button that says call the show and then you can tell me how much you love me or how much you hate me or how much you love Donald Trump or how much you hate Donald Trump or how much you love religion or how much you hate religion and that you're an atheist just like me or that you love gay people or hate gay people. I want to hear from everybody and I will have responses. So just be prepared for that. But

Even if I don't like what you say, I still love you as a person because we're all a member of the same species and we're all connected. So that's enough hippy dippiness out of me. Have a lovely rest of the day or evening whenever you're watching this and I will see you next week. All right, call the show. Bye.