Daniel (00:00)
Hello everybody and welcome to the show. Let's go!
Hey everybody, welcome to There Is No God and We're All Gonna Die. I'm your host, Daniel Cartier. And yeah, it's great to see you guys here today. I hope you're having a wonderful week. I'm gonna just get into it. So here's the deal. I've been really struggling with something this week, and maybe I can get your input into it. I would I would actually love your input, to be honest with you. firstly, before I say anything.
I would love to get your voice messages. I know I'm always begging you to call, and I actually have a bunch of voice messages to get to today, so thank you to everybody who called and left one. just go to my website, DanielCartier.com, D-A-N-I-E-L, C-A-R-T-I-E-R dot com, and there's a button right at the top of the screen on the home page, and it just says podcast voicemail. You just hit that button.
And you can talk to your little heart's content. You can tell me, you know, that you hate me, that you love me, that you, you know, want to talk about some sort of cosmic thing you've been thinking of. I don't care what it is. whether you're conservative, liberal, gay, straight, black, white, whatever, I don't care. Call up.
And leave me a voice message because I'd love to hear from you because this podcast is not for me, it's for you. this has been a really crazy week. Dolly Parton passed away, which I balled my head off. I always had this bucket list thing. I I wanted to meet Dolly Parton
Before she died. I mean, it was like the she was like the one celebrity I wanted to meet. And I know I'm not alone saying that like millions of people wanted to meet her. So I know that doesn't make me unique or special or anything like that, but it still was a dream that I had. ever since I was a little kid, I always saw her as this beautiful creature that was just kind of otherworldly and full of love and goodwill for people and
no matter who you were, she made everybody feel amazing like they were special. And she was really good at just making people all feel like they mattered. And it's something that I've always aspired to. I don't do it perfectly. so for like the past fifty years, she's somebody that I just fantasized about meeting. And
Every single time somebody asked me, is there somebody you would want to sing a song with, my first answer was always Dolly Parton. so when she passed away it was very sudden and
I stumbled out into the hallway and Corey saw me and he was like, Are you okay? And I could not get the words out of my mouth. I I couldn't say Dolly Parton died and so then he hugged me and I finally got the words out and then
that's when I broke. I said I never got to meet her. And I've been doing a lot of inner child work. This is gonna sound really, Nambi pamby but I've been getting in touch with little Danny, who lives inside of me, and I ignored him for most of my life because he hated himself and he never thought he was enough and he was
He was a really good kid, but he didn't realize that. And so I've been ignoring him for decades. And so over the last couple years, ever since I got sober again, a big part of my recovery is learning how to let that little kid know that he was enough. And when I started bawling my head off in the hallway
And saying, you know, I never got to meet her. That wasn't me saying that. That was that little kid inside me. and yeah, he needed to cry about that. And, so I let him. And then, you know, I was crying about it too. But I don't know, yeah, it really affected me. But it got me thinking about my podcast because you know
One of the things Dolly Parton did that was so amazing was she brought all these people together. more than any other celebrity, she just unified people.
Two days before she passed away, Corey and I went out to lunch and I said, I wonder who the most liked person in the world is. This true story. I was like, I wonder who the most liked person in the world is. And without missing a beat, we both said in unison, Dolly Parton. And I was like, okay, that's weird. And so I actually I asked Siri. I said, Hey Siri,
Who's the most liked person on the planet? First thing that came up on Google, Dolly Parton. So, you know, clearly she was beloved.
I think it speaks volumes to how much she affected people. And so I how it pertains to this podcast is, you know, this podcast was about me talking about my spiritual beliefs, which are very spiritual to me. I know that a lot a lot of people might look at the title of my podcast, There is No God and We're All Gonna Die And they may think, Wow, that's really
A really combative title, although I don't see it that way. to me it's two very spiritual statements. because I don't believe that there's a God, I I think that all the goodness that I want to see in the world needs to come from me. I can't expect other people to bring the goodness to me. I have to bring the goodness to other people.
if I have dreams that I wanna work towards, if I have, you know, things that I wanna see happen, I need to go and make those things happen. I c I can't expect them to just come to me. you know, that's why things like when people start talking about, it's your destiny and stuff, I actually think
it's kind of cruel because when people say, it's your destiny, it's your destiny, and then that destiny never happens, somebody can start thinking, well, the world's against me or God's against me or whatever. And it's like, no, it's just that it hasn't happened. the the cookie didn't crumble the way you wanted it to, and so you gotta keep trying. it's not a very feel good thing. I talked about this last week. my beliefs are not
The most feel-good beliefs, and I understand that, but I think that reality isn't always feel good. I think reality can hurt. You know, reality it can suck sometimes, but our job is to make the best of it. And so that's how I view it. I as I've said many times, I don't begrudge the fact that my friends believe in all sorts of things I don't believe in. I love that they can believe in those things. I I just can't my brain doesn't work.
you know, so there is no God. It's a very spiritual expression for me because it puts responsibility on my shoulders to create the world that I would like to live in. Like, am I going to do it in a really selfish way where I'm stepping all over everybody to get what I want? Or am I actually going to try to do it in a way where other people benefit as well? And
For me, because of the way I was raised and the values that were instilled in me by my parents, you know, I have to do it in a way where I'm not hurting other people.
And then we're all gonna die, you know. The title of my podcast, we're all gonna die. Well
Yeah, we are all gonna die. And so for me as an atheist, it makes me also feel a big responsibility towards making each moment count because I don't believe that I'm gonna go to heaven afterwards. I believe when I die that's it. You know, end of story. My body will continue to nourish things and break down. But what made me me, like the thoughts that are
in my head, they just stop happening. And it's like I was never here. And that's also not a feel-good thing, but it is how I view things. And so it makes me also put more v value into every moment because every moment could be my last. Like my last forever. Like that I'm not gonna go to heaven afterwards. Like this is it. Like if I died and a freak
podcasting accident or a freak banana bread making accident, that would be the last thing I'd ever recall doing. Like my thoughts would cease to exist after that. And so when I am being an asshole to a MAGA voter on Facebook or something, I have to think,
Is this the last thought I ever want to have in the history of me, like me telling a MAGA voter to go fuck themselves or something like no? So I don't know, ideally it makes me more mindful of what I am saying to people. Anyways, I didn't mean to go on and on and on about it. I guess before we get into the voicemails, I just want to know like what do you guys think about the the title for my podcast? Because
The reason why I ask is I feel like I don't know, Dolly Parton brought so many people together. And I feel like I would like this podcast to bring people together. and I would like people who disagree with me to still feel like they could call in and and talk and we could have a civil conversation and
You know, I start thinking you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. And I'm wondering if the title of my podcast, even though it's two very spiritual ideas for me, I wonder if it's just vinegar. And that I should be calling it something else like Daniel's big sparkly gay podcast or Daniel's big smiley face podcast, or Daniel's podcast of good vibes and big gay podcasts.
Fluffy thoughts. I don't know. Let me know what you think. but with that being said, why don't we listen to some voicemails? And I love you guys. And yeah, let's see what's going on Let's listen to some voicemails. And remember, if you want to call in and leave a voicemail, Daniel Cartier dot com. Daniel Cartier.
Like the jewelers, C-A-R-T-I-E-R dot com. Just go and hit the little podcast voicemail button at the top of the screen. It's very easy. It takes literally two minutes. Alright, let's see.
Mm-hmm.
DJ, well first of all, ooh. I'm sorry you guys, but those southern accents. I love a southern accent. Good lord on a bike with a side of rice. That is a that is a really nice southern accent. Thank you, DJ. Sorry, I was I was kinda, you know, enamored by your southern accent, and I apologize. That's me not being on my best behavior.
Yeah. thank you. So thank you for first of all, your job sounds so cool. You own a canoeing company. That's friggin' really cool. I don't know if I've ever met anybody else who has that as a job description. So kudos to you for having a r really kick ass job. And, you know, I I grew up in New England where we would go canoeing all the time and kayaking, and it's actually one of my favorite things to do. So I may have to take you up on
some canoe some canoe canoe thing. A canoe canoe canoeing adventure. Canoeing adventure. A Tennessee I haven't done any canoeing in Tennessee. That's kinda lame on my part. Seems like I should have done a lot of canoeing, but I have not. and I do love it. I do love it.
and so you mentioned the Facebook post. you know what, you guys? I'm glad DJ brought this up. I had a Facebook post go viral this week. It's gotten like 1.5 million views, which I don't know, it's a big deal for me. it's not a big deal for like Kim Kardashian or Taylor Swift, but for me, little old me to have a post blow up like that and
it had like seven thousand and something comments and I think it like seventy seven or seventy eight thousand loves and likes. It was a little overwhelming. But yeah, I will read the post to you. Thanks for reminding me, DJ. You see, this is why I need a personal assistant, because I don't remember anything.
I like press record and I start talking and I don't really have a plan and that's probably not good if I'm doing this. Okay, so for all of you who are listening, you can't see, but there's a picture of me. I'll show you right here. If you're if you're watching on YouTube, you'll see it.
and there's a bunch of rainbow flags around me and you know I look pretty happy you can see my tattoos and everything. And then it says, I'll read the post to you, thank you to all the homophobic MAGA commenters who've recently discovered my profile and show up regularly to point out that I'm gay. Bless your hearts.
I know you acknowledging my gayness is supposed to be an insult, but after decades of living openly and proudly as a gay man, being called gay is hardly the devastating mic drop you think it is. In fact
It's a reminder of how much I've survived to be able to wear that label proudly. I'm the survivor of a violent homophobic attack, one where I genuinely believed I was gonna die. I carry scars from that night and I've lived with PTSD for thirty-seven years. I don't tell you that for sympathy. I'm doing well. I'm thriving as an openly gay, liberal atheist living in the Bible belt.
I tell you that because I want you to understand something. Every label you think you're throwing at me is a label I have earned. Gay? Absolutely. Queer? Sure. Homo? Yep, you betcha I'm a homo. And all the other uglier words you think are going to shame me, I can wear those too because I know what it cost my community to get here. We bled for the right to live openly. We were beaten.
Rejected, murdered, kicked out of our homes, abandoned by families, and told that who we loved made us less human. People fought, marched, protested, died, and survived so that people like me could stand here today and say without any apology, I am gay. I am proud. and you, you don't get to make that shameful for me.
Some LGBTQ plus people don't want to reclaim those words, and I respect that completely. But I do reclaim them. They're mine. They belong to a history I survived. So by all means, keep pointing out that I'm gay, keep reminding me that I'm queer, keep throwing your little insults at me. You're not exposing me. You're reminding me of who I am.
What my community survived, and how damn proud I am to still be standing here. And after everything I survived, being gay isn't the insult, it's the badge of honor. DJ, I want to thank you for reminding me of that post. I can't believe I almost didn't mention to all of you that I had a post go viral this week, and it was something that I really believe in. And the comments that came in and are actually still continuing to come in have been so lovely.
Some other people who've also struggled with PTSD because they were gay bashed. I have had a lot of parents of gay teenagers or young people who, have come out of the closet and, you know, the parents are naturally worried. And so I think that me talking about how I survived something like that and I'm here today living in the Bible belt and I'm thriving, I think that helped a lot of people and
I wasn't planning on this post going viral. Honestly, what happened was I had posted something else earlier that week about people leaving MAGA. it was this silly post where I was like, Today is a great day to leave MAGA.
but All the MAG people showed up and they were leaving hundreds of comments, calling me a fag and calling me gay and calling me homo. And so then I was just like, you guys, this is stupid. none of that, is an insult to me. Yeah, I'm gay. I friggin' love being gay. You calling me gay as if it's an insult.
Is you calling me something that I love about myself and expecting me to be insulted by it? It's almost like saying to me, musician, like as if it's like a an insult that I'm a musician. I'd be like, Yeah, what's your point? I am a musician and I fucking love being a musician, or dog dad. Yeah, I am a dog dad, and my dogs are awesome, and I I love my dogs. So thanks for reminding me that I'm a dog dad.
It's kinda like that. It's like, yeah, I'm gay. I'm queer. I'm a homo.
Anyways, Thanks DJ for reminding me of that and yeah I'm gonna have to go check out your canoe place at some point and I hope you keep listening, dude. It's nice to make your acquaintance. Alright. Let's see who else called.
All right.
Feeding raw to cats and dogs. Well, I I've heard about it. I I've read up on that documentary and the reality is that a lot of commercial pet food is really not good for our pets. and it's kinda sad because I mean I have mixed feelings about it because on one hand the the raw food diet can be amazing for dogs, but it has to be done
you know, carefully because, bacteria and things like that and and dogs have gotten sick and stuff. So I used to feed my dogs raw food, back when I lived on Cape Cod and they never had any problems, but I have heard horror stories that people's dogs have gotten really sick. So I don't know. It's not something that I feel comfortable giving, 'cause I'm clearly
I'm a high school dropout, so you know, I certainly never went to the eight years of veterinary school that people go to in order to give an educated opinion on something. But what I can say is that
there's certain things that I give my dogs because I know that they are good I mean, all my dogs get fish oil. all my dogs get a lot of things high in omega oils and I also try to give my dogs a lot of vegetables too, because vegetables, they they they actually do benefit from them. if you can steam a bunch of vegetables and
sneak them in to your dog's food that can always be good. as y'all know, I just lost my my eldest dog in June, Phantom. He had really bad kidney problems. We thought we were gonna have to put him down, but we ended up giving him some bonus time because we got him on this kidney healthy diet. And
We couldn't give him store bought dog food anymore. we had to give him very specific dog food 'cause his kidneys basically weren't functioning at all. And so one of the things that we w were able to do though was we got him on a really high it wasn't a vegetarian diet, but there was a lot of vegetables.
So long as they weren't high in phosphors, like we couldn't give him anything like spinach or anything like that. But he got a lot of green beans, carrots, sweet potato, c broccoli, cauliflower. and I would just steam and I would even eat it too. It was delicious. But I know that doesn't answer your question. I think that it's the type of thing that with any sort of
The and this may sound like a cop out, maybe it is, but with any sort of thing where it's your dog's diet, I would always have a relationship with your vet. the other thing I was gonna say is we also have an epidemic of dogs that are in shelters. Like shelters right now are getting overrun because
First of all, our president has made the cost of living more expensive for people and one of the first things people give up when they can't afford their life anymore, a lot of people will bring their dog to the pound or they'll drive it out to the country and let it loose, 'cause that happens where I live quite a bit.
And you know, I understand that people when they're struggling financially, they may make decisions that maybe are heartbreaking to them too. I don't know. I mean, I'm trying not to judge people, but I would never be able to give my dogs up. Like I that to me that I just even the thought of bringing my dogs to the pound because I can't, you know, pay for them, yeah, I just it
I can't even imagine that. But I also, I'm not other people and I don't know. I mean, they might have, kids to feed and they they may actually just flat out run out of money and they're like gonna lose their house and all this other stuff. And, now the cost of groceries is way more expensive and the cost of dog food's way more expensive than it was a couple of years ago. Gas is more expensive, home prices are more expensive. So many people don't have any savings anymore.
And so yeah, then it gets to the point where it's like we literally can't afford to feed our dog. We can't afford to feed ourselves, never mind our dogs. and so dog shelters are getting overrun. So when I see that, if I had the choice between a dog being in a shelter or somebody adopting a dog, and maybe they can't feed it a really expensive diet, maybe they are gonna feed it the crappiest dog food in the store.
If it's still giving that dog some more time to be here on the planet, and maybe the person's situation will change later on where they can feed it better food. But it's better than the dog, you know, being put down. so I also look at that if I had a choice between a dog, being put down because nobody can afford it, or well, I can afford it, but it can only afford to.
you know, feed it this food that's not, fancy or anything like that. I would still want them to adopt the dog and feed it the non-fancy food. So it's a complicated issue. I'm so glad you called and asked though, because it obviously it's something I I guess I did have a lot to say about. And so yeah. Thank you for calling and call back. Call back and let me know what you think of my podcast title.
I really want to know what people think if they think I should call it something friendlier or if there is no God and we're all gonna die is is a good enough title.
What do I think about that? I think you're absolutely right. And I've said it many times. I think what we're seeing right now, with the Trump administration, I think we are seeing a dying monster. And I've said many times, an animal, or if you want to say a monster, but let's just say an animal. an animal is the most dangerous when it's cornered. When it's cornered and it feels like or a person even. Like if if you came up to me, and I'm a very peaceful guy, but if you came up to me and tried to kill me, guess what?
my will to live would come out. That is just a natural thing. And so I think what we're seeing right now in the Republican Party I think we're seeing something in a death throw. Throws, death throws. because it is just so unhinged at this point.
the approval numbers are just tanking and tanking, and just every day it is more and more ugliness and more and more insanity. And I'm starting to feel like, we're seeing this cult, and the compound is getting smaller and smaller and smaller, and pretty soon it's gonna be this tiny little compound, and all these followers are gonna be on there, like, we will not give up, you know? And
There's something kind of scary about that because, I don't want any of them to do anything really stupid before the whole thing falls apart. You know, and by stupid I mean like hurting people. I will say that when I posted that thing on Facebook where I was like, today's a great day to leave MAGA. It was like a really short thing. The amount of craziness I got from people.
And the the amount of hate and hostility was so alarming to me. because it was so unhinged. I posted this thing yesterday about Alex Pretti getting shot and you know that his family finally gave an interview where they talked about watching him get shot on TV. you know, so they saw their son get killed.
They saw their son get shot ten times by ICE after IC had him pinned down and he was no threat. And he was never a threat anyways. He was trying to help this woman that ICE had pushed to the ground. And she hadn't done anything. And, you know, these fucking toxically masculine douchebags
they were good Call of Duty players and they owned enough axe body spray and you know had enough toxic masculinity to be ice agents, basically. That that that was the requirement. And so here they are terrorizing a fucking city, Donald Trump's goon squad.
And you know, so people like Alex Pretti Renee Good and like thousands of other people in that city showed up and they were like, you know, fuck you. This is our city. And it's under siege by you guys now. And you're terrorizing people. And so they rightfully showed up and were documenting ICE brutality and they were trying to keep ICE accountable. And yeah, Alex Pretti got shot for it. And so
I posted his photo. I mean he just seemed like a really lovely person from what I know of him and I posted that yesterday and the comments I got
From hundreds of MAGA people.
were so ugly. Like some of the ugliest comments I've ever read in my life. I mean, laughing that he died. One guy was like, I wish they hadn't killed him because I would have wanted to finish it off. of course all the you know, ICE is doing a Pretti Goode job. And a lot of people saying he fucked around and found out. Like all this fucking bullshit.
and then lying about what happened. Like he showed up and was brandishing his gun. It's like, well, no, he was not brandishing his gun. His gun was in its holster. he was carrying it legally. You guys all claim to be for, gun owner rights, but now he's not allowed to carry a gun and he wasn't brandishing it. he was just filming ice with his phone and then trying to shield a woman from being hurt.
By these big ICE agents. And that got him killed. You know, because he was trying to help a fellow American who was in distress. And you know, what kills me is all these fucking douchebags who were commenting on my post, if you ask them, hey, is it okay for a dude to hit a woman? They'd probably be like, No, that's not cool. Well, unless it's a bunch of ice agents throwing a woman to the ground, then it's fine. You know?
And hey, is it okay to protest when your government is overreaching? They'd probably be like, Yeah, don't tread on me. Unless you're a liberal, then you should just let ice come and terrorize your city. You know, so it's like so fucking hypocritical. Like, you know, that like the the people who were leaving these ugly comments were probably like those don't tread on me guys, you know, like, don't tread on me, don't tread on me.
You know, and what they mean by that is don't tread on my white, straight, Christian nationalist ass. Don't tread on that. But if you want to tread on gay people or liberal people or women or minorities or Mexicans or lesbians or transgender people, tread all over those people. Just don't tread on me. My white, straight, male, Christian, nationalist.
Tiny dicked, ass. Don't tread on that. But tread on everything else. You know, so that's what I see a lot of right now. Like when I was looking at all those comments, and I was just I was just so fucking disgusted by it. And so to back to your point, that's all they have now. They have insults.
And then you know you got this fucking douchebag in the White House who's just, He's so out of touch with everything. People can't fucking afford to eat. And he's renaming Lake Ontario. And he's lying about the fucking reflecting pool. And he gives this big fucking lame America State Fair that nobody shows up to because it's big fucking pile of shit.
You know, and then the whole fucking thing with Iran where you know, he invades this country with no fucking plan and then it's like, Americans, they they can afford to pay more. It's like, what planet are you living on? He's like so fucking out of touch and then his ballroom and like you know, like wanting to rename everything after him and putting his face on fucking passports and on
Currency. You know, I think it's really telling that, we were supposed to have the Harriet Tubman twenty dollar bill, and now instead we might be getting Trump's big fat fucking ugly face on money. But not Harriet Tubman. Even though she did more for people than he ever did. That's pretty fucking sad. Anyways, thanks for calling and I yeah, I hope to see you
so that was my friend Steve. he's an amazing author. he's written a lot about being I don't know if you're a humanist or an atheist. I should ask you about that. But I'm gonna have him on this show soon. Anyways.
yeah, let's see who else called.
Hm, Michael, I love that. I I I actually totally agree with you. it's very important to have these things in place. one of my dear friends owns a green burial service in Washington State called Wildflower Funeral Concepts, and he's a beautiful human being. His name is Brian Flowers, and he would agree with you as well. it's really important to have our shit in order.
before we die and it's something I actually need to work on because I have all my music publishing and I have a lot of art and I have a lot of things and you know and I actually have saved some money and I've got equity in this house and stuff and you know, I'm not like Daddy Warbucks or anything, but I don't have a burial plan right now.
And I'm still not really sure what I want to do with my body when I die. I want something to happen with it. you know what I would really love to have happen? I know this sounds really morbid, but I would love them to make something out of my body. Like I would love to have like a chandelier made out of my bones, or like I like, you know those cartoons where there's like a xylophone played on a rib cage or something? Like, I really love the idea of that. Anyways, that's me going off topic. so yeah.
it's very important and and one of the other reasons why it's important is because if you are somebody who is a in a marginalized community, like if you're transgender or if you're in a relationship with somebody but it's not quote unquote legally observed, like if you guys are just living together but you're not officially married and then one of you dies and there's a next of kin who's extremely conservative. You know
I've heard of transgender people being dead named when they die, where the conservative Christian family comes in and they're like, you know, they called themselves Susan, but we're burying Benjamin, And so then that person is buried in the gender that they never were comfortable in. And isn't that sad and isn't that disrespectful? so that's one of the other reasons why it's really important
For us to have all those things legally binding, because also, like my friend Brian, who owns the funeral home, would say he, we were just talking about this. It's so weird because I actually help him do some marketing for his funeral home. And we were just talking about this. having that stuff in place is also one of the most comforting things for loved ones because when loved ones
are able to see that, hey, here's everything I want done and it's all written down and here's all the information to access all my bank accounts and here's the funeral home I want you to use. And and by the way, everything's paid for. Now I know everybody can't do that, but anything you can do, any questions you can have answered for the people you love when you die, it's gonna allow them
The grace and the space to grieve, instead of suddenly being thrown into this thing where they're trying to answer questions they have no answers for. You know, so it's a very loving thing to do, actually. So I I I absolutely agree with you, and I'm glad you brought it up. It's a great point for all of us to think about. And I know that sometimes we don't want to think about that because, you know, it's not pleasant to think about death, but at the same time, like you said, it's one of life's inevitabilities. So
Thank you. Excellent call. Alright, let's see. Who else?
Make me cry.
Okay. Here this is for you. This is a heart. I just drew if you're listening, then you're not gonna see this, but I just drew a heart on a piece of paper and I'm holding it up to my camera. And that's for you because that
I mean who doesn't want to get a a message like that? Dude, that was just so lovely to hear. first of all, you brought back a lot of really lovely memories. it was probably what was that called? Stimulance? Was that stimulants? I am the boy inside my car. Traveling faster and faster, traveling away. I am the
Boy inside my car travelling faster and faster travelling away You can see me 'cause I'm made out of air You can't feel me 'cause I'm not really here I am the boy inside my car Okay I won't
Sorry, I won't perform the whole song, but I was performing that for him because that was really lovely that he mentioned the song. And I'm glad that my performance was helpful to you. That you know, that's the thing that's really cool about life, and I wanna thank you for this. you know, it kinda goes back to what I was talking about at the very beginning of this episode. You know, when I was saying that,
You know, my spiritual beliefs really force me to to look at every moment as being like the last moment that I could possibly have. You know, that this is it. We are here right now. The the past has already happened. It it's it's ancient history.
And the future is always just going to be a concept that's out of our reach, although we spend so much time worrying about it. And we spend so much time in the future worrying about what could happen. And you know, meanwhile, what if we don't even make it to that future? And here we are, like we're in the present right now, but we could all of a sudden die and we died and our brain was in the future. It wasn't even in the moment that we were in. the reason why I bring that up is because, you know,
Back when I was performing at like that coffee shop in Buffalo, my brain was so all over the place. And at the time I don't know, I was still under the impression
That how should I say this? I've always had a spiritual practice. I think we all do, even if we're not aware of it. I've said it many times. Everybody has a spiritual practice. They may not be aware of it, but we get up every morning and I think it's human nature to want our spirits to feel better. the way we go about that changes over time as we learn more life lessons.
An extreme example of a bad spiritual practice was back when I was drinking myself to death every day, my spiritual practice was I got up every morning and I started drinking because I could not deal with being with myself. I just hated myself so much and so I needed to stay drunk. And that was my spiritual practice. It was a horrible spiritual practice. but it was me trying to make my spirit feel better. And it would work for a little while. I would get that buzz.
And I would feel all floaty and fuzzy for a little while and then I'd keep drinking and then of course I'd be crawling around on the floor and I'd be choking on my vomit and I'd be in a blackout and so it would it never end up well. You know, some people's spiritual practices, like they just go and spend a bunch of money they don't have Or they go and they
gamble like their spiritual practices. If I can just hit the big time once, the all my problems will be solved and my spirit will feel great. And you know, and then they end up, losing everything because they gambled all their money away. and then some other people they have a spiritual practice which is I'm gonna wake up every morning and I'm gonna just try to do my best.
And I'm going to try to live in gratitude. And if I can make people happy throughout my day, that's what I'm going to try to do because I know that when I make other people happy, I'm happy. and if I can mow my neighbor's lawn you know, because she's elderly right now, she's 96. If I can go mow her lawn and then she comes out and she has no idea who mowed her lawn, but her lawn's mowed, like, yeah, I'm going to go do that.
Because it'll make me feel good and then her lawn's mowed You know, I mean, like little things, they don't even have to be big things. and so at the time when you saw me perform at that coffee house, I can say that I mean I had happy moments, but my spiritual practice at the time was I will be happy when. And there was a bunch of external things that were gonna make me happy. Like I will be happy when I'm rich.
I will be happy when I'm famous. I will be happy when I'm on MTV. When I'll be happy when I'm a rock star. I'll be happy when, you know, I'm on the cover of Rolling Stone. All my happiness at the time, or not all of it, I shouldn't say that. I'm being kind of unfair to myself, but a huge portion of my happiness was tied up in making it as a musician. Like that was the thing that was gonna make me happy. And I think it's natural for singers to fall into that, or like anybody who, you know, they're they're
their success in like a creative endeavor, whether it's being a writer or an artist or a musician or anything like that, you know, society kinda tells you you well, you know, if you're gonna make a living at this, you have to like make it big. Otherwise it's just gonna be a hobby. And so I I I wanted to make it big so that I would finally be enough. And that
this little kid, I mentioned my inner child at the beginning of the podcast. This little kid would finally feel like he was enough. Well, the problem with that is that life doesn't owe me a music career. It never did. You know, either you get a music career like that or you don't. and, you know, there's some very talented people who die never having made it. And then there's some other people who in my mind they're not very talented, but
The cookie crumbled in the right way and they did make it. you know, I think we increase our chances of luck being on our side if we continue to show up. But I think unfortunately luck plays a big part in whether or not somebody like me back then would make it or not make it. And I know that I'm going all over the place, but my point, and I did have a point, and I apologize. my point is that
It's nice to know that even back then when I was doing these shows and my brain was all over the place and that I was not a miserable person, but I also wasn't a happy person. I was really hard on myself I felt like I needed to get all this success so that I would finally be enough so I was kinda like waiting to be happy in the future, which makes me sad 'cause the
I could have just been happy in the moment. But it's nice to know that I was still you know, my music was still able to like help other people and and so I I could have easily said that in a much shorter way. So I'm sorry that I was so long winded about it.
Paul, thank you so much for calling. You know, I love you to pieces. And it's so nice to hear your voice. that's my dear friend Paul. He is such a sweetheart. and man, speaking of which, you've been you've I I think I've known you ever since the 90s, but like that time that the the other caller was talking about. I think I've known you since way back then. so, anyways, that's a great question. as I've said many times, I I don't have any problem.
with religion per se. I I yes I am an atheist, but are there things about religion that I think are beautiful? Absolutely. as a matter of fact, there's a lot of prayers that I pray. Not because I think that something out there is listening. I don't. I don't believe in like deities or things like that. But for me a good prayer
Not so much the celestial or otherworldly part of it, but this the concepts that are in some of the prayers are really beautiful, the principles behind some of the prayers. so I think for my answer, it's not so much gonna be a specific religion, but I am gonna bring up a prayer, one of my f favorite prayers. Well, two of my favorite prayers because I think that they have great values instilled in them. So I'm just gonna share what those prayers are. The first one is the Serenity Prayer. It's
I think a prayer that we can all live by and it's basically grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. the reason why I like that is because it basically goes back to everything I was saying before, that there's a lot of things in life that I'm never gonna be able to change. I love I one of my favorite ways to put it is I'm a control freak living in a world I have no control over. Like the the world's gonna do whatever the fuck it wants to do. I can be nice to people and they still might not like me. I can
try to succeed at something, it still may n never happen. I can have big dreams about this, that, or the other thing happening. I can try to change people's opinions. I can argue with people until I'm blue with the face and they may not budge. You know, I really don't have any control over anything outside of my own life. I can still show up and try to do my best and try to affect the world positively and and hopefully change some hearts and minds for the better if that's my prerogative. But
There's no guarantee that I will. So I guess courage to change the things I can. you know, I broke down that prayer once, and you know, because I've said it at so many of the anonymous meetings I go to for my drinking. you know, usually those meetings start with a serenity prayer. And so I've said that prayer thousands and thousands of times over the course of the last
Four decades that I've been going to these anonymous meetings and
And so you know, I I got to the point where I was like saying it almost robotically. And so one day I stopped and I was like, whoa, what am I actually saying? You know, so grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. So I got out a a a notebook and I just started writing down all the things I couldn't change. It turns out there was a whole lot of things I had no agency over. can't change the past, can't change the future, can't change other people's opinions that like, you know, that people are gonna be whoever they are.
I can't force people to like me. I can't change the weather. I can't change the outcomes of things like that. Things are going to happen the way they're going to happen. I can certainly try to make things happen, but the results are never going to be up to me. They're always going to just be up to whatever they are. And I can't even change my thoughts. You know, there's that joke, don't think about elephants for the next minute. What are you going to be thinking about? Elephants. You know, so
courage to change the things I can. you know, when I when I looked at that part, it was like, well what can I change? If I can't change anything, what can I change? It turns out that I can only change two things that as far as I can see. One is my attitude, and my attitude doesn't mean I have to be in a good mood. All it means is that I have an attitude of willingness to show up and do my best.
I do have agency over that. And then the second thing I have power over is my next response to whatever's happening. My next action. every second of the day we have a choice Is my next action an action of love? An action of hate? Am I gonna regret my next action later on and need to apologize for it?
So, you know, like I think that that's a great example of something from a religion that I can benefit from. The other one, and I think this is a wonderful way to end this episode, is that Saint Francis prayer. It's it's it's such a beautiful prayer. And although I don't believe in the God part, I do believe in every principle. The principles. It's just a a list of principles. And I and and I like to say this prayer because to me a good prayer doesn't
need to be prayed to a specific God. So long as I hear the words, it's just my way of setting my intentions. It's it's reminders to myself of like what type of person do I want to be? And so when I say the Saint Francis prayer, I'll just say it right now. make me a channel of peace. I don't say make me a channel of your peace because then that means like God, you know. So instead I just say
Make me a channel of peace, almost like I'm reminding myself to be a channel of peace. Alright, that's my little disclaimer. Make me a channel of peace. That where there's hatred, I may bring love. That where there's wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness. That where there's discord I may bring harmony. That where there's error I may bring truth. Where there's doubt, I may bring faith. Where there's despair, I may bring hope.
Where there's shadows, I may bring light, and where there's sadness, I may bring joy. Grant that I may seek to comfort rather than be comforted, to understand rather than be understood, to love than to be loved. For it's by self forgetting that one finds. It's by forgiving that one is forgiving. And it's by dying it that one awakens to eternal life. And that last one I kind of struggle with because I don't really believe in eternal life, but
I do believe that by dying it allows my body to go on and nourish other things. But it's also I will say this, it's by dying, you you could look at dying as like the death of old the old self, like the death of the toxic parts of ourselves that it may not be eternal life, but it may be like a a a brighter life, you know, like when I let go of my drinking or when I let go of resentments. A big part of my recovery program
insists that I let go of resentments. I shared about being gay bashed earlier, when I read that Facebook post. Do you realize I had to I had to work on forgiving my gay bashers. I don't know who they are. It was six guys, it was dark. I blacked out a lot of the experience. It was very traumatic. It left me with PTSD. You know, they dragged me by my ankles and, you know, they were like kicking me and
It horrible. It was horrible. so I
I had to pray that those guys found happiness and they found peace and it took me decades to do this. for a long time I just held on to my hatred of these guys and I held on to my resentment and I I just I hated these guys. I hated them, I hated them and it was corroding. It was like a cancer inside of me.
And I would think about them and I'd want to find them and I'd want to like, you know, bash their brains in or whatever. Like, and I I didn't want to be this guy carrying this around anymore because I I needed to let it go. And so the only way I could was to pray that they found happiness. And they found peace because if they found happiness and peace, they wouldn't want to beat up anybody. A happy person would not beat up somebody for being gay. A happy person doesn't do that. A miserable person does that. A miserably angry
Afraid, scared person will beat up a gay person, or a transgender person, or a person who's a different color, or a different religion, or a different nationality, or their wife. That's not a happy person doing that. That's a miserably sad, scared, afraid person who is overcompensating by being a bulldozer in other people's lives. And let me tell you
Going back to Steve's comment about the death throws that we're seeing, that's what I see in the Republican Party right now. I see a bunch of scared, sad schoolyard bullies. The the schoolyard bully is the scaredest person on the playground. You know, he's a bully because, you know, at home his parents probably hit him or something and he so he's taking all that energy out on the the other kids on the playground,
And you know, he has this stupid misguided belief that if he terrorizes all the other kids on the playground, you know, he's finally gonna be enough, And I see that in the Republican Party. I see that in Donald Trump. Donald Trump will never be enough. He will never be enough. I mean, he's a classic narcissist, so he will never, ever be enough. He will always be wanting to slap his
friggin' stupid face on Mount Rushmore on on you know money and on passports and renaming things after himself and pissing off countries Lake Ontario is Lake America now, Gulf of Mexico is Gulf of America. Like all this bullshit. Anyways, I'm getting off topic. You were talking about religion. So that's my that's my answer is those two prayers. there's other things. I there's a lot of beautiful stuff in Buddhism.
I mean, I can find beautiful things in all religions. And you know, and I'm grateful that those beautiful things exist. My only problem with religion is when people take their religion and use it as a weapon to persecute other people. when you're like, Well, my religion says this, or this is what I think my religion says. I've interpreted my religion to mean that I should go out and be a dick to gay people.
Or I should go out and be a dick to women. Or I should go out and be a dick to transgender people or interracial couples or to immigrants or to liberals or you know, other religions Meanwhile, Christianity, if Jesus came back today, I think he would not recognize a lot of Christians. He'd be like, what are you all doing?
Jesus would be marching with all the woke people. Jesus would be protesting ice. You know? We'll end with that controversial statement. okay. Anyways, you guys, I'm sorry I didn't get to all the voicemails. If you left one, I will get to it next week. If you want to leave me a voice message, DanielCartier.com
Podcast voicemail. Hit that podcast voicemail button and let me know what you think of me. You can say, Daniel, I fucking hate your podcast and I fucking hate you. I think you're friggin' stupid and I hope you die. I'll still like getting that. I I I want to hear from you anyways, I'll respond to it civilly, I promise. but yeah, any thoughts you have on the universe or on spirituality or on
you know, your favorite movies or if you have any question for me, yeah, I'm I'm here. I'm here for all of it, as the kids like to say. Alright, so with that I'm gonna wish you guys a wonderful week and I'm just gonna let you know that I love you. All right. Bye.